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            Showing posts with label What A DoucheBag.
            Showing posts with label What A DoucheBag.

            Thursday, September 10, 2015

            An Open Letter To Everyone Who's (Still/Inexplicably) Supporting Donald Trump For President.

            Dear Conservatives,

            Let's have a quick talk. Seriously guys, what's it gonna take for you all to stop supporting this guy? He has insulted Mexicans. He's . He has insulted women. He has . He has insulted war veterans. Let me repeat that... HE HAS INSULTED WAR VETERANS!!!! Yet his poll numbers keep rising. I keep expecting the balloon to finally burst, but it hasn't and there's no indication it will. I mean, it's not like Trump hasn't already had his fair share of controversies, most of which were unforced errors. Yet he's come through each one unscathed. Herman Cain he is not.[1]

            Do you realize how ridiculous it would be to support a person primarily known as a reality TV star in the first place, let alone supporting a reality TV star whose sole asset appears to be ? What's his "platform"? Do you even know? Do you even care? It doesn't seem like it.

            You do realize the rest of the world is looking at you guys and laughing their asses off, right? I get it, you really, really hate Obama. Well guess what... he's not on the the ballot in 2016. If you're trying to stick it to the 51% of America that elected this guy twice, you could probably choose a better weapon[2], especially given how vulnerable (check that... incompetent) the Democratic frontrunner is. You could actually win this thing, get your party back in power, and actually "take back your country北京体彩网官方网站", whatever the fuck that means.

            Trump's entire appeal seems to be directly related to his jackassery. Maybe he should make that part of his campaign slogan. Forget "Make America Great Again". That's corny. "Make History: Elect The First Jackass President" would be awesome. And accurate. Very accurate. I might just buy that bumper sticker. And burn it. Because I'm not a jackass.

            In the unlikely event that he does overcome the left's challenger and wins, do you actually want this guy residing at 1600 Penn Ave? Really? Seriously? Have you even thought through exactly what that would look like? Do you even care?

            Start caring soon, please.

            Thank you,


            [1] I miss Herman Cain.

            [2] Jeb Bush and John Kasich to name two. Okay, that might be the only two. I woulda put Chris Christie on this list a few months back, but Trump's basically jacked his entire "tell it like it is" steez and dialed it up about 1000000 notches. Big C.R.I.S's run for the nomination ended quicker than a Ronda Rousey fight.

            Monday, May 11, 2015

            Nancy Gordeuk, TNT Academy, And Should Racist People Lose Their Jobs?!?

            , assuming you weren't under a rock or too consumed with NBA buzzer beaters this weekend.[1]
            A high school graduation in Georgia turned bizarre Friday night when the school’s founder and principal accused African-American attendees of disrupting the program that she had flubbed herself.

            Nancy Gordeuk, of the nontraditional TNT Academy in Atlanta suburb Stone Mountain, blurted out, “Look who’s leaving — all the black people” to the stunned audience at a local church, two videos of the incident show.

            The graduation had fallen off track when Gordeuk somehow forgot to call on the school’s valedictorian to speak and then attempted to call the room back to order when alerted to her mistake at the end of the bumpy ceremony, WAFB-TV reported.

            You people are being so rude to not listen to his speech,” she tells the audience in the footage. “It’s my fault that we missed it in the program.” She adds: “Looks who’s leaving — all the black people.”

            The entire audience gets up and leaves after the educator’s rant devolves into the race-based accusation.

            Gordeuk apologized in a TV interview the following day and claimed the video had been taken out of context. But longer footage of the incident recorded in a different section of the audience shows her calling a man who was filming with his tablet a “goober” and a “coward” and challenging him to identify himself.
            Here's the video. I'm not gonna lie, at first I thought this was a Lisa Lampanelli standup routine gone viral, but then googled the school and found out TNT Academy is an actual real life thing and holy sh*t, this woman's in charge of an actual real life school!!!!

            So far, the response over the internets has been predictable. A lot of people think this woman is a best uncouth, and at worst, blatantly racist to single out black people for leaving early when clearly there are lots of people of all races leaving. Others are siding with Mrs. Gordeuk, asserting that she was merely calling attention to the race of the majority of those leaving, and besides, "if blacks didn't loot and riot in Baltimore nobody would say such things in the first place" and "if only you people stopped killing each other and pulled up your pants and quit voting for Democrats all the time".

            Gordeuk, in a strange sequence of events, initially (!!!) for her momentary racism before settling on the "goobers" in the audience who brought the "racist comment" (her words) out of her mouth.

            Here's the thing my parents always taught me: Nobody can bring anything out of you that's not already in there. Nobody.

            I find it quite hard to believe that this was the first time Gordeuk done anything suspect, and many of those in attendance at the graduation seems to echo that sentiment. Since she's technically the founder of the school, it's unlikely she's be fired, but she might just need to fall on the sword anyway since whatever government funding her school gets is inevitably gonna be pulled after this. And props to parents of all races for getting up and leaving after this classless and offensive display.

            Seriously, America, grow up already.

            Question: Does this lady deserve to be fired? Was her statement racist, or just racial?!?

            [1] Seriously, three days, three buzzer beating game winners. In what other sport does this occur?

            Chris Christie Literally Just Ate Away His White House Aspirations.

            No need to lie: I've gone on record repeatedly saying that (pre-BridgeGate) Chris Christie was a guy I'd at least remotely consider voting for in 2016. I'm no Hilary fan (at all) and a moderate Conservative like Christie seemed like a viable alternative at one point. Of course, his past two years have gone about as well as the New York Jets past two years have, with one controversy after the next. Big C.R.I.S. has essentially been lapped by contemporaries like Jeb Bush and Scott Walker, and it seemed unlikely that he would even throw his hat in the ring.

            Correction: .
            New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) spent more than $82,000 in taxpayer money on concessions at NFL games -- a sum that Republicans later reimbursed to the state Treasury to avoid impropriety.

            According to a New Jersey Watchdog analysis of records from the governor's office that was published Monday, Christie used $300,000 of his $360,000 state allowance over five years to purchase food, alcohol and desserts. Some $82,594 of that sum went to Delaware North Sportservice, which operates the concessions at MetLife Stadium, the 北京体彩网官方网站 of both the New York Giants and Jets teams.

            To avoid a potential scandal that could embarrass their rising political star, the New Jersey Republican State Committee reimbursed the Treasury in March 2012 for Christie’s purchases from “DNS Sports.” Since then, the governor has refrained from using his expense account at MetLife and other sports venues.
            According to the analysis, Christie was also a big fan of the grocery store Wegmans Food Markets, where he spent $76,373 in 53 shopping runs. A spokesman for the governor defended the nature of the expenses, explaining they were for "official" and "business" purposes.
            The punchlines sorta write themselves here. I guy who's battled weight problems his entire life gets undone by, what else, food? How fitting. It's also sorta ironic that a guy who railed against teacher pensions to the point of bullying has wasted money in the most wasteful way possible: his gullet. And at a stadium for a team he doesn't even like (he's a noted Cowboys fan, which is just all kinda of stupid).

            $82,594 on snacks? What the hell was he eating, gold-plated nachos?

            Have a seat, buddy. Actually, make that two.

            Question: Does the lack of a moderate conservative to balance out Hillary concern you at all? Would you have considered voting for this guy under any circumstances? What's his next career move?

            Wednesday, January 14, 2015

            Mike Huckabee Thinks The Obamas Are Awful Parents, Beyonce Is A Whore, And Jay-Z's A Crack Dealing Pimp.

            You remember Mike Huckabee right? The bible thumping ex-Arkansas Governor who very briefly lead the GOP Presidential field for awhile, before ceding the lead to John McCain, who gave it to Obama. Yeah, that Mike Huckabee.

            If you still don't remember him, or have him mixed up with Santorum (ick) I don't blame you. The Huckster (see what I did there) used the momentum from those 15 minutes to secure himself a weekend show on Fox News. I watched it once, because I was bored, and it looked like a public access television show with slightly better lighting. Huck's used his twice weekly pulpit to, all of which has raised his profile with Conservatives for a likely run at President in 2016. Either that, or because he has a book to sell. And because he's got a book to sell, he's.
            Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee thinks Barack and Michelle Obama have a troubling flaw in their parenting style: They allow their daughters listen to Beyoncé.

            In a recent interview with People to promote his book God, Guns, Grits and Gravy, the former Baptist minister and possible 2016 presidential hopeful calls the Obamas "excellent and exemplary parents in many ways" but says he’s baffled that 16-year-old Malia and 13-year-old Sasha are allowed to absorb content like the singer’s anthemic single "Drunk in Love."

            "I don't understand how, on one hand, they can be such doting parents and so careful about the intake of everything – how much broccoli they eat and where they go to school and making sure they're kind of sheltered and shielded from so many things – and yet they don't see anything that might not be suitable for either a preteen or a teen in some of the lyrical content and choreography of Beyoncé, who has sort of a regular key to the door [of the White House]," he said.

            In God, Guns, Grits and Gravy, Huckabee labels Beyoncé's lyrics as "obnoxious and toxic mental poison," and he lashes out at her husband, Jay Z – calling the rapper a "pimp" who "exploits his wife."

            Michelle Obama's office reportedly declined to comment on Huckabee's statements.

            The Obamas have been close with Beyoncé throughout Barack's presidency. The commander-in-chief thanked the singer and Jay Z for their friendship during a 2012 New York fundraiser, adding that "Beyoncé could not be a better role model for my girls."
            Ladies and gentlemen, this is today's GOP. And just maybe, tomorrow's POTUS.

            Oddly, while Huck has some odd fetish fascination with Beyonce, he has no issue whatsoever inviting such wholesome artists as Ted Nugent on his show to "rock out". Because nothing says wholesome like a guy who's been married more times than Kim Kardashian and publicly tells a government official so suck on his shotgun.

            Stay classy, Mike Huckabee. Better yet, stay your fat ass on basic cable.

            Question: Does this asshole have some nerve or what?

            Wednesday, July 30, 2014

            Did Stephen A. Smith Actually Say It Was Okay To Beat A Woman?!?

            I'm not a big ESPN viewer, unless we're talking about live sports. The reasons are many, but most of them have to do with the network's tendency to over-sensationalize stories to the point of idiocy. In a lot of ways, ESPN's programming is like Fox News with sports subbed in for "politics". Most shows feature people yelling over each other disguised as a "debate", which seldom yields in any level of intelligent discourse. No show exemplifies this more than First Take, with Skip Bayless, Stephen A. Smith, and a black chick who sits between the two and seems to do little other than say "ummm hmmm" and occasionally nods her head.[1]

            Smith is no stranger to controversy. A guy whose comments on non-sports topics often land him in hot water, Screamin' A. has made a good living off of toeing the line between political correctness and corporately acceptable ratchetness. But lead to ESPN putting him in timeout.
            ESPN suspended Stephen A. Smith for a week on Tuesday for comments that suggested women should avoid provoking men into assaulting them.

            Smith raised the subject of provocation last Friday during a discussion on “First Take,” on ESPN2, about the two-game suspension received by Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice from the N.F.L. over allegations that he beat his fiancée, now his wife, in a casino elevator. Smith’s remarks led to a rebuke on Twitter from another ESPN star, Michelle Beadle.

            In a recorded apology Monday, Smith said that he had failed to properly articulate his view and that he had not intended to say that domestic violence was a woman’s fault.

            Smith will return to “First Take,” and to his afternoon ESPN Radio show in New York, next Wednesday.

            Smith’s weeklong suspension is less severe than the 30 days imposed on Max Bretos, an ESPN anchor who used the term “chink in the armor” in reference to Jeremy Lin in 2012. In 2010, Tony Kornheiser was suspended two weeks for comments he made on radio about an outfit worn by Hannah Storm, a “SportsCenter” anchor.
            Smith is a staple at ESPN and First Take's ratings are huge, so there's no way the channel was going to fire him Rob Parker-style unless he refused to apologize. Not one to go out like Anthony Cumia, Smith has now apologized more than Reuben Studdard. He is taking his one week suspension like a "G", and all will be back to normal next week. But I'm wondering what was so wrong about Smith's comments in the first place.

            Let's have another listen.

            I know it's trendy and fun to clown Stephen A. I mean, seriously, that hairline alone is reason enough. But uhhh, sorry if I'm missing the boat here, but what exactly did he say that was so controversial? At no point did he say it was okay to beat a woman. He went out of his way to say the exact opposite. He simply said that as a man with sisters whom he might have to defend at some point, he wants to make sure his sisters don't do anything to put themselves in such a situation in the first place. Can a woman provoke a man to the point where he defends himself/responds out of anger? Yes. Does that justify the man responding out of anger? No, not under any circumstances.

            I may be wrong, but I believe that's all Smith is saying here. Don't provoke a man to the point of violence and there won't be any. That doesn't excuse Ray Rice or any other wifebeater, it simply says that domestic violence is (in some cases) a two way street. Don't dish it out if you don't want to end up in a scenario in which you might have to take it.

            That's not in any way justifying a man hitting a woman. I will raise my sons to not ever put their hands on a woman. There's no justification for that at all. But as a man with a daughter, I'll also teach her the very same thing. Don't assume that every man you interact with has been instilled with the same values as your brothers.

            Because they might not have been, and you don't want to find that out the hard way.

            Question: Did Smith have a point, or was he just being a sexist, woman-hating blowhard?

            [1] Seriously, what does she do? Anything?

            Wednesday, April 30, 2014

            Reigning Heisman Trophy Winner Busted For Stealing Crab Legs.

            , so naturally I'm just gonna assume it's real. I mean, seriously, who steal crab legs in the first place? If you're hungry, I could think of a million other foods that would be more nourishing than crab legs. And BTW, school is still in session, so I'm assuming athletes are still getting free meals on campus. If you're that hard up, can't you get some fellow student/fan or some chick/fan to just buy you something? You just won that National Title, dummy. You should be as famous in Tallahassee as the governor.
            Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston was issued a citation Tuesday for shoplifting crab legs from Publix, according to multiple sources. Winston, the reigning Heisman Trophy winner, is a red-shirt sophomore for the Seminoles.

            "He got an adult civil citation," a trusted source inside Tallahassee Police told Tomahawk Nation. "If he completes the sanctions it will never show up on his record. They commonly give them to juveniles on first criminal offenses. They are now doing it for minor misdemeanors for adults to lower crime rate."

            Winston has had previous run-ins with the law, but no arrests. He was investigated for an alleged rape, but the State Attorney declined to bring charges due to a lack of evidence. In November, the associated press reported that Winston was questioned about his involvement in a long-running BB gun battle, and that a Burger King reported Winston was stealing soda in a ketchup cup.

            The timing of the citation is interesting given that the NCAA recently approved unlimited meals for student athletes.

            Winston was recently voted the quarterback on the Florida State All-Jimbo Fisher team.

            A source inside Florida State's program says that Winston will be fined $30, required to do community service, and will be suspended from the baseball team. The Leon County Sheriff's Office will hold a 2 p.m. press conference concerning Jameis Winston.
            Of course, Publix coulda just given him the crabs legs, but that woulda been an NCAA violation, and would have gotten him in even worse trouble. So yeah, he looked at the two options and chose the lesser evil, I suppose.

            Still, dummy move, especially for a guy who just beat a rape charge a few months ago.

            Jameis might be Famous, but he damn sure ain't Smart.

            Question: Did this dummy (allegedly) steal crab legs because he was hungry, or because he's a dummy?

            Monday, April 28, 2014

            The Problem With Donald Sterling (And The NBA).

            . I suppose I'm obligated to discuss it here.
            Donald Sterling wasn’t in a courtside seat Sunday afternoon, where he would’ve had an up-close view of what his coarse words and corrosive opinions did to his Los Angeles Clippers.

            The team was drained and unenthusiastic despite a crucial NBA playoff game in Oakland, Calif., against the Golden State Warriors. The Clippers’ most impactful action in a decisive loss came during pregame warmups, when they gathered at midcourt and peeled off their team-issued warmup jackets to reveal red shirts turned inside-out to hide the team logo — a sign of protest against the team’s 80-year-old owner, who allegedly made racist remarks to a girlfriend that were recorded and posted Saturday on the Web site TMZ.

            The report is the latest in a series of allegations of racial and gender discrimination against Sterling, a real estate mogul and the longest-tenured team owner in a league whose player pool is more than three-quarters African American.

            In the recording, a man identified as Sterling scolded the woman, identified as V. Stiviano, for posting to Instagram photographs of herself with African Americans and for attending Clippers games with them.

            Sterling’s history paints a picture of a man who has let slip bigoted beliefs for years — and has, at least so far, sidestepped major repercussions. He was sued in 1996 for sexual harassment. In 2003 he testified in a separate court case that he occasionally paid women for sex. The same year, Sterling was sued by 19 tenants of a building he owned, along with the Housing Rights Center; they claimed Sterling’s employees refused repairs to black tenants and frequently threatened to evict them. Sterling settled the case for an undisclosed sum.

            In 2009, Sterling spent $2.73 million to settle another suit, this time brought by the Justice Department, which alleged Sterling refused to rent his apartments to non-Korean tenants, preferring that black and Hispanic prospective tenants look elsewhere. The lawsuit quoted Sterling as saying in sworn testimony that “Hispanics smoke, drink and just hang around the building,” adding that “black tenants smell and attract vermin.”

            Sterling also feuded with Elgin Baylor, a Washington native, NBA legend and the Clippers’ general manager for 22 years. Baylor, who has declined commenting publicly this weekend, sued Sterling in 2009 for discrimination and wrongful termination. In the lawsuit, Baylor, who is African American, alleged Sterling built his franchise with the “vision of a Southern plantation-type structure” and accused the team owner of a “pervasive and ongoing racist attitude.” A jury ruled in Sterling’s favor in 2011.

            Nothing, though, has attracted attention like the recorded conversation that TMZ obtained and posted Saturday. Some have called for Silver to force Sterling to sell the Clippers, and others have said publicly that Sterling should face significant sanctions if the voice on the audio is proved to be his.
            Let's not kid ourselves here: there is no defending what Sterling says here. Period. No qualifications. I'm sick of people who have made this a Conservative/Liberal issue (stop it already), a privacy issue (bullsh*t[1]) a free speech issue (free speech doesn't mean free of consequences) or an issue on par with the civil rights movement (please, kill the hyperbole) in some way.

            Nope, what's here is an employer, making comments about his employees that would constitute creating a hostile work environment in 99% of workplaces. And yes, if the CEO of your company said something similar, he'd be in trouble as well.

            My biggest issue here isn't necessarily with Sterling. It's with the NBA itself, which has allowed this racist ingrate to own a team for 3 decades, despite plenty of prior evidence that he is in fact, a racist ingrate. New commissioner Adam Silver is playing things as well as he possibly can thus far, as he's obviously beholden to owners first, players second. So yeah, good job, Mr. Silver. But if you're gonna move to have Sterling ousted, make sure it's clearly understood that this isn't merely because his golddigging girlfriend[2] secretly taped him saying some really racist sh*t. Nope, make it because Sterling has a well publicized history of doing some really racist sh*t, and this was just the tipping point.

            On a somewhat related note, I hate that the Clippers had to stage that paltry "protest" prior to yesterday's game, then came out and got their asses handed to them by the Warriors. To me, it sorta seems like they spent a bit too much time watching ESPN and worrying about how to publicly respond, when they really shoulda just kept their heads down, focused on the task at hand (winning a crucial game) and let others (like Lebron James, whose comments were spot-on and pretty brave) speak on their behalf. Getting blown out is the absolute last way to stick it to Da' Man, especially when Da' Man is your employer. Play for the fans and each other. Eff' the racist owner.

            I obviously think Sterling should be removed as owner, just as Marge Schott was, and just as Rush Limbaugh was prevented from becoming. The NBA is a multibillion dollar, worldwide corporate entity. It has no place for idiots like Donald Sterling.

            Question: What should the NBA do to Donald Sterling? Should Magic Johnson be allowed to buy the team now?

            [1] In a normal workplace, management can be held responsible for things said off the record, and away from/after office hours. The NBA is no different.

            [2] Seriously, sista, what's up with you? #BlackGirlLost

            Monday, April 7, 2014

            Is Jay-Z A Five Percenter?!? Of Course Not.

            Black people are the fathers and mothers of civilization, white men are the devil, the Christian god is nothing more than a ghost and only a small percentage of people understand the world.

            These are just some of the ­beliefs behind the bling — the gaudy Five Percent Nation ­medallions worn by Jay Z and Carmelo Anthony.

            Last week, all eyes at the Barclays Center weren’t on Jay Z’s better half, Beyoncé — but on the coaster-size golden pendant swinging from the rapper’s neck as the couple sat courtside. Asked once if the group’s symbol — an eight-pointed star with the number 7 in the middle — held any meaning for him, the rapper shrugged, “A little bit.”

            So what exactly do Five Percenters believe?

            The rationale is that the black man is God and created the universe, and is physically stronger and intellectually stronger and more righteous naturally,” says Michael Muhammad Knight, an author of two books on the radical group.

            “Whiteness is weak and wicked and inferior — basically just an errant child who needs to be corrected.”

            Some followers take exception to those who transform their flag into a fashion accessory.

            “Jay Z is not an active member — no one has vouched for him” Saladin Allah, a representative of the group’s upstate region, told The Post. “It was always understood that you don’t wear the ­regalia if you don’t totally subscribe to the life.”
            This story should end with that last paragraph. Anyone with common sense and with at least one cousin who dabbled with all that God Body sh*t in the mid 90's should know Jay-Z is just wearing the necklace because it looks sorta cool (which it does) not because he thinks white folks are the devil. Not the very same white folks he sided with in the Barney's controversy last year. Or the same white folks he sided with to evict black tentants via eminent domain to build a basketball arena in Brooklyn. Or the same white folks he's siding with the sell everything from shoes, to headphones, to lousy watered down domestic beer. So yeah, enough of that dumb sh*t. Jay-Z only worships one master. Hint: it's colored green.

            But this being America and all, expect Conservatives to abandon the concept of critical thinking (and google) run with this one and somehow many it about Obama. Because America.

            Seriously, Jigga Man, take that dumb sh*t off.

            NYC Cops And Firemen Go To A Fight. A Hockey Match Breaks Out.

            New York City's finestthis past weekend. The result... less than fine.
            A large brawl broke out during an annual charity hockey match between New York City police and firefighters on Long Island.

            Videos posted online show players from both teams clearing the bench and throwing punches while referees are seen trying to break up the fights. Hockey sticks and gloves are seen littered about the ice.

            Newsday reports the fights began during the second period of the match at Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale on Sunday as both teams were tied 3-3. The NYPD eventually won 8-5. The fire and police departments both declined to comment.

            Although witnesses said fan loyalties were decidedly even during the game, a YouTube video of the thuggish display captured fans loudly chanting “PD sucks, PD sucks” during the brouhaha.

            The brawl led to a 25-minute delay as equipment was picked up and refs made laundry lists of penalized and ejected players.

            The cop in the stands said he’s been coming to this NYPD-FDNY game for 20 years and had never seen a bench-clearing, cop-firefighter brawl before.

            Despite numerous black eyes and bruises, no players appeared to be seriously injured.
            For a police force often criticized about use of excessive force, you'd think these guys would know how to better behave themselves. Nope.

            I'm no cop-basher. Two of my good friends are cops here in the DC Area. Theirs is a difficult job, which is seldom appreciated. But come on, this sh*t right here is inexcusable. Grown men playing a glorified pickup game can't resist their own primal urges, even when the cause is for charity. Some are excusing this by noting that fights are commonplace in hockey, which is the dumbest cop-out I've ever heard. Bench clearing brawls occasionally happen in the NBA, but that wouldn't excuse a fight in a cops/firemen charity basketball game.

            Let's just call this what it is, a bunch of jerks chanelling their inner Gretzkys and behaving like the very thugs they're supposed to be protecting the rest of us from.


            Monday, March 17, 2014

            Would You Publicly Whip Your Teenaged Daughter With A Belt For Twerking On Facebook?!?

            My daughter turns two in a couple of months. She looks and sounds every bit of 3 already. She speaks in full, intelligible sentences, is over the 100th percentile in height and weight, and already has perfected the art of selective listening. She's also cute as a button. So yes, I have sleepless nights wondering what this is all going to look like in about 11-12 years. Namely, how I'm going to juggle the typical father/tweenage daughter dynamic.[1] You still have to maintain some level of authority while allowing a girl to find herself. Push too hard and it's revolt city. Be too passive and she'll walk right over you. It's a precarious balance that some fathers ace, and others don't even bother to navigate.

            So when this video, courtesy of The Uppity Negro landed on my radar, I had to post it. And yeah, I already know. I'm scouring World Star Hip Hop for post fodder. It's that sorta day. Deal with it. Or Beal With It™. The video description says "Bad parenting or is this type of discipline acceptable now a days? Father disciplines his 13-year-old daughter after missing for 3 days messing around with boys & then posts all on facebook." and that's about all the context I have here.

            Warning: This video contains some very offensive imagery and isn't for the weak at heart.

            Well let's get one thing right out of the way: if you're going to publicly flog whip your child, you might want to check to make sure nobody has their i北京体彩网官方网站Phone out before you start whipping your child's ass in the Piney Courts Projects parking lot. So yeah, this guy is prolly going to jail for assault. Dumbass.

            Beyond that, it's clear this sperm donor.... errr, "father" has no authority or control over his daughter. And while it's certainly understandable that he's upset (clearly!) there were probably 1,928 other ways to process and relay his disappointment. And he chose the absolute worst option possible. Great judgement, buddy. Pull out next time.

            I won't add much more here, other than to say this man is wrong assed wrong, and that his daughter is prolly gonna be missing for a week "messing around with boys" next time, and might have a bun in the over upon return. Seriously, if you were that concerned, why didn't you call the cops and get them to issue an Aisha Amber alert? You know, like sensible concerned fathers do?

            Instead, this ass hat is headed to jail and his daughter is one step closer to the pole. #message

            Nice work, breh.

            Bonus: Since I'm already scraping the bottom on the internet barrel for material today, he's another example of Atrocious Black Parenting™ that I meant to post awhile back. This one's rather self-explanatory.[2]

            Question: Add your two cents to this senseless story.

            [1] Other than owning a firearm to ward of... err "vet" potential suitors.

            [2] Is it just me, or do SOME Black people not understand the concept of putting your phone in "landscape" mode instead of "portrait"? Just sayin'.

            Tuesday, March 4, 2014

            The NFL Wants To Ban The N-Word?!? N*gga Please.

            No need to rehash my feelings on the word nigger here. If you've read the blog long enough, you already know my stance. If not, get familiar. For those of you too lazy to do the 北京体彩网官方网站work, I find the word ignorant, try (and on occasions fail) to not use it, and think white people shouldn't say it under any circumstances. There. If you need more context, consult the link above.

            Anyways, with NFL, a league that seemingly has an image threatening issue going on all the time, is still smarting from the bad PR that resulted from the Richie Incognito/Johnathan Martin story last season. For those unaware, Incognito (who has since gone to the looney bin) threatened his then teammate with racial slurs (among other things) but says he did so because his other black teammates basically co-signed on the idea. I thought this was the worst kind of "well, they say it, so why can't I?" rationale for explaining away ones own shortcomings, but whatever. Reality is, the other black players in that lockeroom enabled Incognito, and they're every bit as much to blame as he is, at least for the racial epithets he peppered Martin with.

            The NFL conducted an independent investigation that basically determined Incognito was a psychopath (how appropriate) that Martin maybe shoulda stuck up for himself sooner, and that the Dolphins lockeroom, as well as other NFL lockerooms, needed to be a bit less toxic. So ?
            The NFL is throwing a flag on use of the N-word.

            In a groundbreaking move, the league is expected to agree to start penalizing players 15 yards for uttering the racial slur on the field, according to the group that monitors diversity in the league.

            John Wooten, chairman of the Fritz Pollard Alliance, said the rule will likely be adopted by the NFL competition committee at March’s owners meetings.

            “I will be totally shocked if the competition committee does not uphold us on what we’re trying to do,” Wooten said, according to CBSSports.com. “We want this word to be policed from the parking lot to the equipment room to the locker room.

            “Secretaries, PR people, whoever, we want it eliminated completely and want it policed everywhere.”

            Wooten expects the NFL to push for an automatic 15-yard penalty for first-time offenders. A second offense would result in an ejection.

            It’s hard to know how often the N-word is used on the field, but it was a prominent off-field issue for the league this season.

            The use of the slur by NFL players was thrust into the spotlight in late July when a video surfaced showing Eagles receiver Riley Cooper yelling the epithet at a concert.

            Just a few months later, it was part of the controversy in the Miami Dolphins locker room mess.

            The N-word was part of a barrage of bullying texts Richie Incognito hurled at Jonathan Martin. In one, Incognito referred to Martin, who is biracial, as a “half-n-----.”

            And then in November, an NFL game official was suspended for one game without pay after making “a profane and derogatory statement” to a Washington Redskins player during a game.

            Left tackle Trent Williams later said that the N-word was not among the vulgar language uttered by umpire Roy Ellison.

            But the incident prompted the Fritz Pollard Alliance to issue a statement imploring all NFL players to stop using the racial slur.
            I think this has to be the most misguided attempt at political correctness I've ever heard of, and I'm generally a guy who believes in political correctness. But this is simply treating the symptom, not the disease. Black players say the N-word so liberally because they've been mislead into thinking it's a term of endearment. White players say the N-word, either because they're racist as hell (see Riley Cooper and the aforementioned Incognito) or because they've also been mislead into thinking it's a term of endearment by black players who have allowed them to say it without any repercussions. Penalizing a team when a player utters this in the heat of play isn't going to "fix" players.

            How about educating them, all of them, on why the word is so ignorant, why it's hardly a term of endearment, and that it's just one of lots of words (f*ggot, r*tard, f*ckboi) they should eliminate from their vocabularies. And maybe they should ease up on all the pointless hazing and behave like grown assed men, instead of 9th graders. Not because it's best for the league's image (clearly the only thing that matters to the NFL) but because it's for their best as men.

            This N-word penalty tho? Nonsense. This will not work. At all.

            Roger Godell? N*gga Please.

            Question: Is this N-word ban going to work? Are there better ways of going about this if you simply want a more wholesome team environment?

            Tuesday, February 11, 2014

            Marcus Smart Was Right.... And Wrong.

            [Editor's Note: yeah, I'm late. I already know.]

            Ok State point guard Marcus Smart has seen his fortunes go from sugar to sh*t faster than any black man not named Charles Ramsey. Last spring Smart was lauded for passing up the potetial of being the #1 overall pick in the NBA draft to return to college for another year of seasoning. NBA Analysts thought he was a fool, College Basketball purists thought he was living proof that some people value the college experience over a quick buck. As an NBA fan, I sided with the former: no matter how cool college is, you always strike when your stock is highest.

            Smart's season hasn't gone as planned. His team has underachieved, his game has regressed, and after this weekend's incident, his stock is likely in freefall.

            Personally, I was a bit shocked Smart got off with just a 3 game suspension. I was pretty damn sure he'd be kicked off the team, and wouldn't have objected if the school had done that. You can't just go around shoving boosters, no matter how obnoxious they might be. These are the rules. Of course, the school is in the business of making money, so, yeah... see you in 3 games, Marcus. Lay off the caffeiene while you're at it.

            All that said, the media's attention on Smart, versus the asshole fan who shouted whatever he shouted at him was pretty revealing. Are we really asking 19 year olds to put up with (probable possible)verbal abuse at the mouths of grown assed, presumably fully developed 60 year old fans? I sure hope not.

            What's really sickening is , Jeff Orr, didn't say anything that could have presumably set off the teenager, even going as far as to release a Zapruder film-level video of the incident.

            Whether or not Smart was called a nigger isn't the issue here. The issue is, why would a grown man call a 19 year old a piece of crap under any circumstances, let alone a basketball game? Any why is the burden of controlling ones emotions squarely on the shoulders of Smart? Does Orr think he can just hurl insults at a 6-4, 225 point man and not get his ass whipped? Would he do that anywhere other than from the sanctity of his expensive courtside seats? Would he say that to Smart if he ran into him at Target? I doubt it.

            While Texas Tech and Orr came to a PR-friendly resolution, Smart's facing an uphill battle to regain his footing with pro sports. Which is why he is ultimately the the person most wrong here. Because he had much more to lose than Orr, who didn't even lose his tickets.

            Keep your head up, Marcus Smart. And keep your mouth shut, Jeff Orr.

            Question: What's your read on this story? Where's the line between casual fan trash talk and verbal assault on a party that can't retaliate?

            Wednesday, February 5, 2014

            DMX To Box George Zimmerman, Avenge The Entire Black Race.

            Let's get ready to ... mumble. As in, what now, George Zimmerman?

            Seems like the former neighborhood watchman has found yet another way to remain in the public limelight.

            This time, he'll be stepping into a boxing ring to fight rapper DMX.

            Zimmerman said the celebrity boxing match was his idea. Boxing was his hobby, he told Radar Online last month, even prior to the "incident." The incident, of course, is the February 2012 encounter in which he shot dead an unarmed Trayvon Martin, 17. He stood trial for murder, but was acquitted.

            "Prior to the incident, I was actually going to the gym for weight loss and doing boxing-type training for weight loss," he told Radar. "A mutual friend put me in contact with Damon and provided me with an opportunity and motivation to get back in shape and continue with my weight loss goals and also be able to help a charity out."

            Damon is Damon Feldman, owner of Celebrity Boxing and self-described opportunist, whose claim to fame is putting together bizarre matchups. Think Tonya Harding, Michael Lohan.

            He said last week that he was accepting offers for someone to step into the ring for a three-round, pay-per-view fight with Zimmerman.

            "The news has been out for an hour and my e-mail is overloaded with 8,000 people wanting to fight George," Feldman told CNN on Thursday.
            So we've basically entrusted a damn crackhead with the task of exactly kharmic revenge on behalf of the entire race. Lovely, just lovely. Out of all the rappers we coulda chosen, we had to pick DMX? Really? A guy who's 150lbs soaking wet, which a history of mental problems is gonna beat a 200+ pound killer! guy with MMA training? Damn. Wasn't 50 Cent available? He was once a boxer, and he raps (sometimes). He's probably too rich to care. So how about real rap tough guys like Bumpy Knuckles, Trick Trick, and The Game. They've got plenty of free time on their hands, and Game even has a (somewhat puzzling) Trayvon Martin tattoo. Heck, he was even mistaken for Martin by internet race baiters some. . Why not Jayceon?

            Anyways because Zimmerman hand-picked his opponent, we're stuck with DMX now. And as tough as he might come across, I thinking most of that is macho-posturing and heroin. Mostly the heroin. Need I remind you what happened the last time a macho-posturing rapper stepped into the ring?

            Yeah, this could get ugly. Real ugly.

            Keep your nose clean, and drink lots of raw eggs, X. The entire race is depending on you.

            Question: Is DMX gonna get his clock cleaned by George Zimmerman? What will it mean for Black America when/if he does? Could you think of another rapper who might have been better equipped to handle this?

            Tuesday, December 17, 2013

            George Zimmerman: Impressionist Era Painter.

            George W. Bush isn’t the only famous person named George developing a brand new career as a painter. That’s right, the first-ever painting by George Zimmerman appeared on eBay this week and it’s really something. With the subject listed as “America,” Zimmerman’s moody depiction of the flag comes complete with the words “One Nation” literally under the word “God”:

            Zimmerman included his own description of the piece, for which the bidding is currently up to a whopping $99,966.00 and rising, with all proceeds going directly to the pocket of the man who was acquitted after shooting and killing unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin. He writes:

            First hand painted artwork by me, George Zimmerman. Everyone has been asking what I have been doing with myself. I found a creative, way to express myself, my emotions and the symbols that represent my experiences. My art work allows me to reflect, providing a therapeutic outlet and allows me to remain indoors :-) I hope you enjoy owning this piece as much as I enjoyed creating it. Your friend, George Zimmerman

            Lest you think this is some hilariously bizarre hoax, the new painter’s brother, Robert Zimmerman, Jr. confirmed that the auction is real and that “therealgeorgez,” as the eBay username reads is actually George Zimmerman.
            For those keeping score at 北京体彩网官方网站, when I last checked, since yesterday. Yesterday.

            I'm not disparaging Zimmerman's need to make a living. It is what it is. The guy's life (for reasons he entirely bought upon himself) will never be the same, and short of working for the NRA on phone sex line, I couldn't imagine any "real job" he could find to support himself.

            But I can't help but wonder what is says about our country北京体彩网官方网站 when a man who kills a black child is valued more than a woman who saves them.

            Question: What's your thought on this? Who buys a George Zimmerman oil painting anyway?

            Thursday, November 21, 2013

            Trey Radel, The "Hip Hop Congressman", Arrested In The Least "Hip Hop" Way Possible.

            I don't dabble in recreational drugs. The reasons are many. I don't care for them. I have a family and a Day Job. I'd much rather just play NBA 2K if I wanted an escape from reality.[1] Crack is wack. I could go on, but I suppose you get the point. Still, if I ever did get the urge to procure something to help me get away from it all, I'd prolly be wise enough to use a middle man to carry out the purchase. Why? Because I've listened to more than enough rap music to understand the concept of a weed carrier.

            Namely, get someone with far less to lose and far more okay with taking penetentiary chances to obtain and maintain posession of your illicit substances. It's the way reasonably smart people of reasonable means manage to do things that aren't on the up and up without ending up in the clink. I'm pretty sure it's one of the Ten Crack Commandments, but don't quote me on that. I've been listening to more Roy Ayers than Migos lately, but that's another story for another time.

            Anyways, Florida Tea Party Congressman Trey Radel, a guy who is some notorious for his knowledge of "classic rap music" clearly hasn't been paying enough attention to lyrics, and .
            Florida Republican congressman Trey Radel said he would take a leave of absence from Congress and donate his salary to charity after he pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of cocaine possession. "I'm owning up to my actions. I'm taking responsibility. I'm taking it very publicly," Radel told a group of reporters at a news conference Wednesday night from his Cape Coral, Fla., office.

            Radel acknowledged that he had let down his country北京体彩网官方网站, his family and southwest Florida residents. "I'm struggling with this disease, but I know that I can overcome it," he added. Earlier in the day, Radel appeared in a Washington, D.C. court and was placed on one year's probation with "minimal supervision." The freshman congressman also admitted to being an addict.

            "I've been dealing with this on and off for years. The most important thing is to rely on professionals," Radel told reporters.

            Radel, 37, plans to start "intensive inpatient treatment" immediately. In the meantime, the congressman said he would donate his salary to charity, but his offices would stay open. He gave no indication he was going to resign. Radel was the target of an undercover sting operation, prosecutors told the court earlier in the day.

            Radel, according to sources, first came on the radar of federal authorities when a suspected cocaine dealer under investigation by a joint Drug Enforcement Administration and FBI task force told agents that one of his customers was the Florida congressman. According to prosecutors, confidential sources told authorities that Radel had purchased cocaine "on several occasions" for his own use, and "on occasion" would share that cocaine with others.

            About 10 p.m. on Oct 29, Radel met a confidential source and an undercover law enforcement officer at a Washington restaurant, prosecutors said. At the restaurant, Radel told the two that he had cocaine back at his apartment and said they could go back and use some, according to testimony.

            They declined the offer to share coke with Radel, but the undercover officer said he could sell 3.5 grams to Radel, prosecutors said. Outside the restaurant, Radel gave the undercover $260, and then inside a car, the undercover gave Radel the cocaine, according to prosecutors.

            When Radel stepped outside of the car, federal authorities approached him. He dropped the bag of cocaine on the street. Radel admitted to authorities that he bought cocaine. Ultimately, he and authorities went back to his apartment, where Radel retrieved another vial of cocaine and gave it to authorities, they told the court.
            Lemme guess... Trey Radel's favorite rapper is .

            Get it? 8Ball? 3.5 grams... awww f*ck it.

            I could turn this post into an indictment of Conservatives who preach one thing in public and live otherwise privately, but what's the point? All these guys are ethically shaky. You just don't know it until they get busted. I could also point out that Radel voted in favor of a law that would drug test food stamp recipients, but that's low hanging fruit. I could point out how he's cleverly spinning this as alcohol abuse, not the white pony, but that's just good crisis management. Because we all know Miller Lite is a gateway drug to crack cocaine. Amirite Mayor Rob Ford?!?

            Nah, my biggest problem with this guy is how dumb he is. He's a public figure. Did he really think he could just continually buy directly from a dopeman forever? Surely he's watched enough episodes of The Wire to know that low level dealers do one of two things when busted. Either give up their supplier or a big time customer. That's precisely what happened here, and precisely why this moron ain't hip-hop. No matter how many "hip hop mixes" he makes while on taxpayer dollar in his spare time.

            Next time, hire a coke-carrier, Trey.

            Question: Should this guy step down or get himself some help? Can we blame hip-hop for this also?

            Monday, November 18, 2013

            "Smoked Crack, Got His Job Back!"

            before I put money on Toronto Mayor Rob Ford making it to Thanksgiving. T-Dot's walking train wreck just continues to rumble on.
            The hits keep coming! Embattled Toronto mayor Rob Ford reached a new level of viral infamy when he crashed into a fellow council member. Watch and cringe.

            Ford’s downward spiral continued Monday when he plowed into a woman—nearly knocking her over—at a meeting of city council members working to strip him of his remaining powers. Those in attendance at the meeting were heard shouting “Shame! Shame!” at Ford, who has admitted to smoking crack while in office (he said he was drunk) and recently discussed oral sex in graphic terms on live TV. The vote, which a majority of council members have already supported, will cut Mayor McCrack’s office budget by 60 percent and allow his staff to join the deputy mayor.
            If you're looking for , do that. Ford on the other hand needs to get some help. And another day job.

            Crack is wack.

            Friday, October 25, 2013

            Maryland Attorney General Attends Underaged Drinking Party. Does Nothing.

            An interesting battle for Governor is brewing in my (adopted) 北京体彩网官方网站 state of Maryland. Presumed front-runner and state Attorney General Doug Gansler is gearing up to face Lieutenant Governor Anthony Brown next year, in a battle of two Democrats with interesting credentials. Since this is a solidly blue state, whoever wins the primary is a virtual shoo-in to take the Governor's mansion.

            Gansler is a career climber who has gone from local politics to statewide office in record time. It's also clear he's the guy the state Democratic Party is "pushing" for the seat. Brown, .
            A month after launching his campaign for governor, Maryland Attorney General Douglas F. Gansler was entangled Thursday in yet another controversy, this time acknowledging a lapse in judgment when he appeared at a beach-house party and did nothing to stop apparent underage drinking going on there.

            At a half-hour news conference in Silver Spring, Gansler (D) said that when he stopped by a party for graduating high school students in June, he should have been more vigilant about ensuring that the teenagers were not doing anything illegal. A photograph shows Gansler in the middle of a party scene, surrounded by young people. He said that failing to more thoroughly investigate what was going on at the party was “a mistake I made.”

            In hindsight, I probably should have assumed there was drinking and talked to the chaperones about what they thought was appropriate,” Gansler said. But Maryland’s top law enforcement official said he was there as a parent, hoping to talk briefly to his teenage son about travel plans, and not as “a police officer or anything else.”

            He saw teenagers drinking from red plastic cups that night, Gansler said. “There could be Kool-Aid in the red cups,” he said, “but there’s probably beer in the red cups.”

            At the news conference, Gansler was shown a copy of the photo that appears to show him holding a phone. When asked whether he was taking a photo with it, he said he had not yet learned how to do that with his new i北京体彩网官方网站Phone. He said he thought he was reading a text message.

            Last week, The Washington Post reported that written accounts by the Maryland State Police alleged that Gansler regularly ordered troopers assigned to drive for him to speed and run red lights, even on the way to routine appointments. Gansler accused a police commander who documented those concerns of being a politically motivated “henchman” trying to help Brown’s campaign.

            In August, before Gansler ­formally announced his long-anticipated bid for governor, The Post reported that he was secretly recorded at a meeting with volunteers saying that Brown was relying on his race to get elected and that his campaign slogan was: “Vote for me, I want to be the first African American governor of Maryland.”

            But Gansler told the Sun: “Assume for purposes of discussion that there was widespread drinking at this party. How is that relevant to me? . . . The question is: Do I have any moral authority over other people’s children at beach week in another state? I say no.
            For those of you missing the bigger picture here, the state's "top cop" essentially walked into a party in which 17 and 18 year olds were drinking, and looked the other way. His insistence that he didn't know kids were drinking, and that they might have had Kool Aid in those solo cups, and that he didn't know how to use his new i北京体彩网官方网站Phone is just laughable. He also seemed to be caught taking pictures of (possibly underaged) girls twerkin' on a tabletop.[1] So yeah, this isn't a good look. At all. And of yeah, there's this.

            Not. A. Good. Look.

            I suspect Brown is behind this "leak", just as he was behind the "race tape" and the story about the red lights. And I personally think this is fairly smart politics. Make a guy whose job it is to essentially be the legal/moral compass of an entire state look like a total and complete hypocrite by simply throwing out factual examples of his own contradictions. A winning formula if there ever was one.

            Brown might wanna start watching his back though. There's a long time between now and the primary.

            Question: Is the attorney general responsible for reporting a potential crime even if he's out of state and off the clock?

            [1] That's him in the white shirt, looking like a narc.

            Tuesday, October 15, 2013

            When Did Dr. Ben Carson Turn Into Such An A$$hole?!?

            Dr. Ben Carson was one of those black people my parents always told me I should emulate growing up. The was the consummate "credit to the race" My Dad damn near forced me to read Gifted Hands while in college. Dr. Carson's back story was one even Hollywoood couldn't make up, even though it tried with the absolutely unwatchable Cuba Gooding Jr. flick that came out a few years ago.

            Carson, once almost exclusively known in the black community, has increased his public profile over the past couple of years. He (in)famously stood up the President at a prayer breakfast, and has become a favorite of Conservatives, many of whom want him to run for President in 2016, although he has absolutely no qualification for President other than being black smart. Like many people who go from marginal notoriety to high profile in a short time, Dr. Carson seems to be getting high on his own supply. Witness this gem he dropped at something called a Values Voters Summit last weekend.[1]

            The worst thing that happened to this country北京体彩网官方网站 since slavery? Seriously, my n*gga? The worst thing? Worse than world wars? Worse than recessions? Worse than AIDS? Worse than Jim Crow? Worse than 北京体彩网官方网站boyz In Outer Space? Seriously, my dude?

            Can we have a word here? Just you and me?
            Dear Dr. Carson,

            You are a smart man. You surely know the meaning of the word "Hyperbole". So please tell me when Obamacare:

            1) Made patients work in deplorable conditions for no money.

            2) Physically whipped, beat, and hung patients.

            3) Treated patients as property to be sold.

            4) Systematically broke up patient's families.

            5) Robbed patients of their heritage, culture, and identity.

            You are making a caricature of yourself, just to gain the approval of people who will discard you the moment you say something they do not like. Please stop this, or we will have to reinstitute The Drop Squad to pay you a special visit.


            One Black Man who really used to admire your accomplishments and now finds your schtick nauseating.
            Question: What the f*ck is wrong with Dr. Carson? Can you think a few things worse than ObamaCare that have happened since The Big S?!?

            Monday, October 7, 2013

            Fun Times With The Idiots Of Fox & Friends.

            in the past few days.
            Fox & Friends co-host Anna Kooiman fell hook, line and sinker for a fake story that claimed President Barack Obama is personally funding “The International Museum of Muslim Cultures” during the government shutdown and attempted to call him out on it during a segment of the October 5th show.

            The National Report, a site known for it’s political satire, posted the satirical story which included the following statement from President Obama: "“During this shutdown, people will have to deal with some of their favorite parks and museums being closed,” Obama told reporters. “Just keep in mind, they will always be there. The Grand Canyon and the Smithsonian are not going anywhere.” Obama continued, “The International Museum of Muslim Cultures is sacred. That is why I have taken it upon myself to use my own personal funds to re-open this historic piece of American culture.”

            As one would expect, the folks over at Fox were whipped into a frenzy over this fake horrific injustice, particularly when World War II veterans are not able to visit the World War II memorial because of the GOP shutdown.
            Here's the video.

            Not to be outdone, the show's weekday hosts made a cultural snafu of their own, .
            Fox News host Brian Kilmeade on Friday said he assumed that the network’s Latina meteorologist “grew up on tacos,” even though it is not a traditional food in her native country北京体彩网官方网站 of Nicaragua.

            To celebrate National Taco Day, Fox & Friends asked Fox News Weather team member Maria Molina, who was born in Nicaragua and grew up in South Florida, to host a segment explaining how to make tacos.

            “So what are the tips we need to know?” Kilmeade asked Molina. “You grew up on tacos, correct?”

            “No, I did not grow up on tacos!” Molina shot back. “I’m Nicaraguan. It’s not a native food.”
            This looks even more awkward on video...

            Nicaragua, Mexico, Venezula... same sh*t. Whatever.

            You couldn't make this sh*t up...

            Friday, August 16, 2013

            Russell Simmons Culturally Tone Deaf Comedy Jam.

            Black Twitter has been afflutter the past couple of days by a sketch comedy bit called "The Harriett Tubman Sex Tape", which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. In case you've been under a rock, or don't know what Black Twitter is, here it go...

            The fact that Russell Simmons is responsible for that f*ckery didn't help. almost immediately. Of course, this being the internet and all, it's still around. Nothing ever actually "goes away" on the web.
            Russell Simmons is apologizing after coming under fire for a video that appeared on his new All Def Digital YouTube channel.

            The "Harriet Tubman Sex Tape" depicts an actress portraying the famous abolitionist having sex with her "Massa" in order to allow her to run the Underground Railroad. The video has since been taken down. Simmons issued an apology on Globalgrind.com in which he says he was contacted by his "buddies" at the NAACP asking for removal of the video.

            "I'm a very liberal person with thick skin," wrote Simmons. "My first impression of the Harriet Tubman piece was that it was about what one of actors said in the video, that 162 years later, there's still tremendous injustice. And with Harriet Tubman outwitting the slave master? I thought it was politically correct. Silly me. I can now understand why so many people are upset. I have taken down the video. Lastly, I would never condone violence against women in any form, and for all of those I offended, I am sincerely sorry."
            While many are up in arms about the fact that a(n ex-) slave is portayed having consensual relations with a (presumed) slaveowner and taping it, I'm actually not. There's nothing rapey about this video, and I really wish people didn't go there. I also don't have any issue with Harriett Tubman, a beloved historial figure, being used for comedic intents. Nope, my problem is something entirely different altogether.

            This sh*t just wasn't funny. At all. Period.

            That's the first rule of comedy: make people laugh. Nothing here was funny. Nothing.

            I don't consider any topic off limits. In the hands of capable writers and on screen talent, you can take a taboo subject and make it both hilarious and thought provoking. Comedians like Richard Pryor, Dave Chappelle, Patrice O'Neal, and my current favorite Hannibal Burress have all more or less made careers of this. But these no-name, no talent bums in the Simmons' funded sketch had nothing going for them. There's no social commentary. No physical humor. Nothing.

            Still, I don't get all the uproar here. This isn't the first comedy sketch that bombed, nor will it be the last. The fact that the NAACP is involved in this f*ckery, and that rodeo clown incident in the same week says something. Exactly what I'm not sure. But something.

            I'm sorta outraged at all the outrage. You?

            Question: Was this just a poorly conceived comedy skit that went really bad, or a sign of the collapse of Negro civilization?