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            Tuesday, June 30, 2009

            Getting Paid To Not Get Laid?!?

            Mark Sanford: Certified Sparky DoucheBag.

            Separated At Birth!?! - Sotomayor & Perez.

            Yeah, I realize this sounds like a stretch at least, and borderline racist at worst, but something about SCOTUS hopeful Judge Sonia Sotomayor seems awful familiar. Is it just me, or does she have some strange "Rosie Perez' Aunt" thing going on?

            Question: Do Sotomayor and Perez look somewhat alike, or is it time for my annual vision exam?

            Black People, Please Leave Your Children At 北京体彩网官方网站.

            Yeah, I know, it was Lil' Wayne's weekend to keep his kids and whatnot, but what level of coonery do you stoop to when you have your tweenaged child onstage as you sing a song called "I Just Wanna F*ck Every Girl In The World"? He could have been classy enough to at least do a radio edit, but nawww, that's too difficult.

            [Editor's Note: Viacom is not playin'. If you missed this, too bad. The video will probably be downs soon.]

            I wouldn't be shocked if the child has a reality show in the works.

            Question: WTF!?!?

            Monday, June 29, 2009

            AB.com Guest Post - See, This Is Why We Don’t Have Nothin’.

            clearly doesn't.]

            Louisiana State Representative Barbara Norton (in the blue) is Hurricane Chris’s godmother, so I’m sure it was her pleasure to present him with a House Resolution commending him for “outstanding musical accomplishments.” By this she means beating America over the head with one of the sharper nails to ever pierce hip-hop’s coffin, the song “Halle Berry.”

            [Editor's Note: Here's the full version of the video, just for context. While I think Hurricane Chris' performance is actually pretty fun/cool, Norton (who looks like Cheryl Underwood) on the other hand is totally embarrassing. And the awkward "what do we say now?" banter of the white guys afterward is even worser. Pour yourself some coffee and watch the whole 10 minutes. The laugh is worth it.]

            Never mind that it’s a piece of trash that barely qualifies as music and it has lyrics such as “got a job, go ta school, p—y sweet as pound cake/and she boogie juss right, like ta crank that Stanky Leg.” It’s nonsense like this that makes me wish playing the spoons would come back into style.

            Question: Is this the most absurd thing you've seen this year, or is it just me?

            What Is This Song Really About?!?

            . Not bad. Not bad at all.

            Sunday, June 28, 2009

            International Negro : Episode 3 - America's Greatest Cultural Export.

            [Editor's Note: I grappled with how to best blog about my recent 10 day trip to Europe, and the various eye-opening experiences encountered. So, I present to you the latest installment a limited edition, infrequently running, and likely pointless special series called International Negro.]

            You hear a lot mentioned about how much American culture is mimicked, imitated, and damn near idolized in other countries. This may be true, but after now having visited about 10 European countries, I can't really co-sign on this much, not based on my personal observations at least.

            One refrain I commonly hear from black folks is that rap music is extra bad because folks overseas see this and form their perceptions of black folks as a result. I can't say I've ever had any personal encounter that would back up this assertion. Maybe nobody assumed this cause in a Polo and jeans, I don't "look" like a rapper. Maybe dressing like a rapper is what makes folks assume this. Go figure.

            I'm pretty sure these young Swedish ladies didn't copy Cassie, or Carmelo Anthony's baby mama. This "half shaved head" thing was pretty popular in every country北京体彩网官方网站 we visited.

            Yeah, rap music is global in reach, but I can't say I heard "Turn My Swag On" a single time on my trip. Or much rap music, beyond some skater kids at this Helsinki waterfront park blasting Main Source (WTF? I hadn't heard "Lookin' At The Front Door" since 97'). Or rap attire. Or rappers. Or American recording artists, period.

            Sure, there were the Britney Spears In Concert ads on bus stops in St. Petersburg that were a bit odd. And the Ciara Magic Ride ad at the back of an Oslo summer music guide was a little unexpected. But on a whole, other than movies, I didn't peep many vestiges of American pop culture anywhere on my trip.

            Sure, there was the rare Kobe #8 jersey, a D-Wade Heat jawn, the Pittsburgh Steelers themed Gilbert Arenas Wizards jersey (huh?), or the inexplicably popular Pau Gasol #16 Grizzlies get ups, but even American sports aren't too popular.

            Score one for American culture!

            Familiar food was easy to spot, at least in this Polish liquor store where I found plenty of Big Red in addition to the native goods. The golden arches aren't as plentiful as in, say, Newark, but you'll find McDonald's, Dunkin' Donuts, and Baskin & Robbins if you look hard enough. Other than one memorable trip to Burger King (I couldn't resist spending almost $27 USD to try the Pinata Whopper), I didn't bother indulging, but my family said the food otherwise tasted exactly like back 北京体彩网官方网站. Pour out a lil' liquor for Ray Kroc... and hypertension.

            Finally, American cars weren't easy to spot either. You'd see the occasional Ford subcompact, but Euros generally push European whips. Opels, Peugeots, and BMWs were the norm. And strangely, while we associate the brand Mercedes Benz with luxury, it's really and truly just another car over there. Literally. Every taxi I saw was a Benz. So, GM ain't gettin' bailed out by Scandinavians.

            But I'll tell you what's really, really, really popular throughout Europe (yeah, even in Russia): Graffiti. The roots of graffiti as a whole are dubious, but the Wild Style-like tags I saw all over Europe on both trips are a definite stepchild of the American version with roots in the hip hop movement of the 70's. That, my friends, was pretty strange.

            One final link to America that was pretty consistent though... you guessed it... Obama! This cool set of authentic wooden nesting dolls only set me back about $12 in Estonia. Can you guess who's nested inside the Obama Doll? I bet you'll never guess.Question: Do you think the international scope of Black American culture is somewhat over exaggerated? Can you guess who else (two other dolls) is nested inside the Obama Doll?

            AB.com LiveBlogs The BET Awards - Good Lord, It's 11pm!

            Read chronologically from bottom to top. Updates happen whenever I get a free moment.

            Just in case you're curious. AB - Me, AS - My Wife AOB - My Oldest Brother, AMB - My Middle Brother, AA - My Aunt, ASL - My Sister In Law, ABL - My Brother In Law.

            AB - God bless & good night.


            {Janet Jackson comes onstage. Tearjerker montage of photos. Highlight of the night. Jamie Foxx sings "I'll Be There". The show ends on a semi-classy note.}


            {Drake & Lil' Wayne perform.}

            AB - They bleeped out the "open up her legs to filet mignon" line.

            AOB - Thank God.

            AS - His hair looks nice tonight.

            AB - They need to bleep half this song out.

            {Lil' Wayne's daughter and a few other scantily dressed tweens come onstage to dance along. This is getting disturbing.]

            AB - This is so wrong.

            AS - Underwhelming. Why didn't Drake stand up even once?

            AB - God, this is late. I am gonna regret this when I have to wake up at 4am to catch that Acela to NYC.


            {The Toya and Tiny promo is shown for the 233rd time}

            AB - I'm actually gonna watch that at least once. They got me.


            {Jamie Foxx introduces Maxwell, and says he's "a little moist".}

            AB - [Pause]

            {AS and AA are having a conniption fit. I'm considering ending the live blog. Where is Human Tivo when you need it?}


            {The cast of "Baby Boy" comes back onstage, clearly burning/filling time. Ving Rhames drops another expletive. Beyonce wins an award. Jay-Z awkwardly kisses her before she goes onstage.}

            AS - That's a marriage of convenience.

            AB - Aren't they all.

            AS - She seems off tonight. Something's not right.

            AOB - She's just shy.


            {TI is being systematically disenfranchised for the moment, so his baby mama Tiny comes onstage to accept his award for him.}

            AB - If ya'll can't say nothin' nice...



            {Taraji Henson and Tyrese do an impromptu rendition of "Baby Boy"}

            AB - Classic.

            AS - Classic.

            AOB - Classic.


            AB - Can we see Lil' Wayne already. Some of us have Day Jobs to go to in the morning.

            AS - Stop complaining.

            AOB - They aren't going to cut Maxwell.

            AB - Lil' Wayne ain't gettin' cut.

            AOB - Don Cornelius messed it up for everyone.

            AB - Here's that "Rap It Up" commercial with the guy with the logo-less fitted cap again. If I see this commercial one more time, I am going to have unprotected sex.

            AS - Huh?

            AB.com LiveBlogs The BET Awards - Hour Three.

            Read chronologically from bottom to top. Updates happen whenever I get a free moment.

            Just in case you're curious. AB - Me, AS - My Wife AOB - My Oldest Brother, AMB - My Middle Brother, AA - My Aunt, ASL - My Sister In Law, ABL - My Brother In Law.


            AB - She's still talkin? Get off the stage. We need Real Life Tivo for moments like this.

            AOB - Aww man, Wyclef has to talk too?

            AS - That jacket... awwww, that jawn is terrible.


            AB - It's time for the Annual "Debra Lee Tries To Justify All This Bullsh*t" Address.

            {Some montage of humanitarian efforts by Wyclef and Alicia Keys is shown. Everyone tunes out. Yeah, we're typical.}

            AB - Lil' Weezy, please!!!!

            {Alicia Keys comes onstage to give an acceptance speech. She has a zit the size of a crouton on her nose.}

            AS - Her makeup looks bad.

            AOB - She stole Swizz Beats from his wife.

            AS - What wants Swizz Beats?

            AA - Who is Swizz Beats?

            AB - Weezy, please. Booooring.


            AA - Girl, Idris Elba is on! You missin' it!

            {AS comes running back into room}

            AS - Woooo!!!

            AB - You better sit down, He ain't payin' no bills here.

            AS - Neither is Beyonce.

            AA - Debra Lee looks good.

            AS - Sure does. Cute hairdo.

            AB - Hey, wasn't your best friend supposed to be here tonight?

            AS - Yeah, she double booked on us.

            AB - Whoa, so wait a minute, we're The Backup Party?

            AS - Mmm hmmm.

            AB - Uhn uh. You know who you are, I am calling you out. You missed out on these grilled shrimp shawty! Standing MY party up...


            AB - Dang, is this over yet? Bring on Weezy F. Baby and end this thing. Please. It's nearly 11pm.


            AB - Oh, Eddie Levert dropped an S-bomb.

            AOB - The censors were sleepin'.

            AB - That's an FCC fine. BET is gonna go bankrupt before they pay that bill.


            AB - Are Don Cornelius and Elgin Baylor twins? Put this man out of his misery. Cut the mic, please.

            AA - This is sad.

            AMB - Hey Don, wanna get away?

            AB - Did the OJays have to clown Don?


            AOB - Don Cornelius is out on parole.

            AA - Hangin' in there after all these years.

            AOB - He's struggling with the teleprompter.

            AB - He's better than Trey Songz. And Obama.

            AS - He's so old now.

            ABL - He's takin' a toke here and there to get by.

            AMB - That's a 70's suit.

            {OJays tribute begins}

            AB - The timing for this is a little off, all things considered.

            AA - Little Tevin.

            ABL - He looks the same.

            AB - Looks good. Sounds good. No reason to hate.

            {Tyrese, Trey Songz, and Johnny Gill come out to sing "Backstabbers"}

            AB - 3 random Negroes.

            ASL - Why does Johnny have a nose ring? He looks bad. Men don't do that.

            AB - This is better than it looks on paper. They aren't half bad.

            AB.com LiveBlogs The BET Awards - Hour Two.

            Read chronologically from bottom to top. Updates happen whenever I get a free moment.

            Just in case you're curious. AB - Me, AS - My Wife AOB - My Oldest Brother, AMB - My Middle Brother, AA - My Aunt, ASL - My Sister In Law, ABL - My Brother In Law.


            {Jay-Z performance}

            AS - I hate this song.

            AMB - Wack song.

            AB - I like the track, but he's saying absolutely NOTHING!

            AOB - He needs a guest surprise appearance.

            AB - Jay-Z without features is boring.

            AOB - Lil' Wayne is closing the show.


            {Beyonce wins her obligatory "thanks for gracing us with your presence award}

            AB - I bit this is just killin' Keri Hilson.

            AS - She runs the game!


            {The first black mayor of Philadelphia, MS is trotted out. Clearly the higher ups at BET are doing some atonement. I suppose it's good to have these "positive images" on the TV, but how many minutes before the next Coon Moment? I say 5 minutes.}


            {The hoodrat portion of the show begins.}

            AB - This song puts me to sleep.

            AOB - Monica is going to try and show up Keyshia Cole. She's using Keyshia to try and come back.

            AS - They have no chemistry.

            AB - Zzzzzzzzz.

            AA - Which one is Keyshia?

            {the camera pans directly under Keyshia Cole's butt.}

            AS - Monica' outfit looks too masculine. She's showing off.

            AB - They're trying to outsing each other.


            AOB - Ciara can't sing. This is bad.

            ABL - Terrible.

            AOB - You got to know your limitations.

            AB - Beyonce is clowning her.


            Note to Kenyon Martin: before you tattoo your girlfriend's lips on your neck, you might wanna Google the term "Trina Luke's Freakshow".


            {Keith Sweat comes out to perform. The house spontaneously combusts!}

            AB - This is real music.

            AS - This was my album.

            AB - Damian Hall still has no talent.

            {Guy comes out!}

            AB - Aaron Hall is out of witness protection.

            ABL - R. Kelly let him out.

            {BBD comes out! AverageFamily sing-a-thon and dance-off.}

            AB - Highlight of the night. It's all downhill from here.

            AS - Yep.


            {Jamie Foxx and NeYo perform for the 197th time of the night. An overzealous background dancer in a too-small outfit tries up upstage the performers and nearly has a wardrobe malfunction.}

            AOB/AMB/AS - Whoa!


            {Taraji P. Henson wins an award}

            AS - Go head' girl! Southeast DC represent!

            ASL - That is a great dress.

            AS - She looks hot.


            {Mary Mary performance}

            AS - Those pants are too much. Bad look.

            AB - Latifah.

            AS - Actually, the pants look good. Queen looks good too.

            AA - I like her hair.


            AS - Jamie Foxx' makeup looks terrible.

            {Madea proof.}

            AS - This isn't funny.

            AB - Oh my God, Sheneneh and Wanda, the motion picture?

            AS - This isn't a real movie is it?

            AB - Jesus, no!

            AOB - Wow.

            AMB - Wow.

            AB - Skank-Robbers.com?!?! The website isn't real, but that promo was too long for a joke. Somebody please tell me that wasn't real.


            {Beyonce performance.}

            AB - Take that Keri Hilson.

            ABL - What is this song? Is this Mike?

            AMB - She got a body like Eartha Kitt.

            AOB - She got a nice little...

            ABL - Everything.

            AS - CAMELTOE!!! A chink in the armor!

            AOB - That's a DINOSAUR TOE!

            ABL - Pan down.

            AS - That ain't pannin' back.

            AA - This performance is strange.

            AS - Her hair is bad, the song is stupid. This is bad. She stunk the joint up.

            ASL - What did I miss?

            AS - Nothing.

            AA - This is Ava Maria. It's a tribute to Michael.

            AB - It sucks.

            AS - This is one long song.

            AOB - Cameltoe!

            AS - Cameltoe is in!

            AOB - Dinosaurtoe! She grew a fossil in there.

            AS - Somebody made her do this. That wasn't her idea.

            AOB - Nobody is standing up.

            AS - It's finally over.

            AB - Dinosaurtoe, FTW!


            {The "Three Doctors" are introduced. Clearly someone is feeling guilty about all the coonin'. A debate over the sincerity of BET including this ensues.}

            AA - Tyra is going to try and get one of them.

            AB.com LiveBlogs The BET Awards - Hour One.

            Read chronologically from bottom to top. Updates happen whenever I get a free moment.

            Just in case you're curious. AB - Me, AS - My Wife AOB - My Oldest Brother, AMB - My Middle Brother, AA - My Aunt, ASL - My Sister In Law, ABL - My Brother In Law.


            {Trey Songz does some MJ tribute. He struggles mightly with the teleprompter.}

            AA - Stay in school.

            AOB - Chris Brown stole his spot.


            {NeYo wins some award.}



            {Jamie Foxx wins some award}

            AB - This is sorta like a perfect attendance award. You have to win something for just showing up.


            {Soulja Boy performance. AverageInfant is glued to the screen.}

            AB - Take my child in the other room, please.

            {AS takes the baby away. He starts crying.}

            ABL - Turn the swag off.


            AB - Drake looks like that black guy who sells weed at all white suburban high schools.

            AS - Not funny.


            {Jamie Foxx performance}

            AS - He is holding ALL of his package.

            AA - All 5 inches of it.

            AB - Puffy and his Ciroc product placement. Michael would be so pround.

            {Snoop comes out}

            AS - This sounds terrible. Why is Snoop out there?

            AA - Big Ass Chain?!?!

            AS - Ghetto t-shirt makers are gettin' paid this weekend.

            AB - Is that chain real?

            AOB - That's real.

            AMB - Travis Barker?

            ABL - He's killin' them drums.

            AB - I guess you gotta do something to liven up a vocoder song.


            AOB - Keke Palmer can sing.

            AMB - She needs her teeth whitened.

            AS - That's just wrong.

            AB - Little Bobby J needs his own Nick Jr. show. Get this child a show before he hits a growth spurt.


            {Frankie & Neffe promo}

            AS - Crackheads.

            AOB - Lookin' really crackish.


            AB - NeYo is one of the few dudes who can do Michael some justice.

            AS - Whoa, leave the hat ON!

            ABL - He needs a wig. Wow!

            AB - He sounds great.

            AA - This is good.

            AS - Wow.

            AB - He should have written Michael's album.

            AMB - He took off the hat to honor Mike.

            AA - Why is Joe Jackson there?


            {Keri Hilson performance}

            AB - Somebody's got plumber's butt.

            AS -She's got the Michael Jackson look.

            AMB - She sounds terrible.

            AB - She does absolutely nothing for me.

            AS - She better not.

            AB - {silence}

            AS - This looks like some performing arts high school dance act.

            AOB - She almost fell.

            AA - This is boring.

            AOB - She messed up.

            AMB - BET sucks.


            {Tiny & Toya promo plays}

            AOB - Get that money. TI can't sell records forever.

            AS - Is that girl really Lil' Wayne's ex-wife or just some wifey?


            AB - Lil Wayne bought the whole Magnolia with him.

            AOB - His daughter is 12 and she's already taller than him.

            AS - Tyra is acting like she don't want no part of these clowns.

            AMB - Ginuwine.

            AS - He wore that suit is the "Pony" video.

            AB - Ginuwine got him a Harold Pener Men Of Fashion Suit.


            AS - Tyra's lacefront looks better tonight.

            AOB - I don't like it.

            AS - It's better than Beyonce's.

            AOB - She looks like an alien.

            {Lebron James wins an award}

            AOB - Lebron's boy is lookin' at Tyra's butt.

            AA - He needs some ennunciation lessons.

            AB - Kobe is going to steal that award backstage.


            AB - Does Lil' Wayne have custody, or is it just always his weekend when there's an award show?

            {everyone tunes out Jamie Foxx's boring monologue...}

            ASL - Aww shucks, moonwalking.


            AOB - Oh God, this fool is in some skinny jeans!

            AB - Ok, this is sorta funny.

            ASL - Jamie looks old.

            AA - Those are some tight pants. What is that thing on the back of his head?


            Michael Jackson Montage. Shocker!

            Wow, New Edition. They're going for the gold from the jump. Bobby too.

            ABL - Is that Bobby?

            AOB - That's Johnny Gill.

            AB - There's 6 of em'.

            ABL - That is Bobby. With a faux hawk.

            AA - What is everyone getting a mohawk?

            AB - That's the thing. That and skinny jeans.

            AOB - That's Johnny on the guitar.

            ASL - That was just okay.

            AB - Ditto.

            BET Award Live Blog - PreShow.


            Are these folks holding up 2 fingers for "Boyfriend #2", or as a reflection of Pleasure P's IQ? Or their IQ's. Jesus.


            Sorry for the delay. Everyone who showed up showed up with food, which is good of course (I hate freeloaders), but means grill duty for yours truly. I'll prolly pick up once the show starts. We really do have an obscene amount of food. Somewhere in sub-saharan Africa, a young child is smiling inside.

            Could someone tell me who the hell Pleasure P is? Pleasure P sounds like the name of an ashy gay stripper, not that I'd know of course.

            Skinny Jeans, FTW!!!


            Uhhmm, seriously BET, WTF?!?

            We have a black President. A sista is in charge of a Fortune 500 company. Do we really need two chicks most famous for whom they open their legs to with their own show? Is this what's hot on the streets? Really?


            AverageOlderBrother, AverageMiddleBrother, and AverageAunt are here. The preshow is on, and boring as all get-out.

            The camera pans of downtown LA are making me jealous. I had the option to either choose 2 months in Los Angeles, or one month in NYC for my next assignment. For obvious reasons I chose the project closer to 北京体彩网官方网站. I ain't been out West in prolly 5 years now. Gotta get back there soon.


            A small gathering for a handful of folks has turned into a "party" with a houseful. I have a gang of stuff for do in the interim, so I'll will check in when time permits. It's a gray, drizzly day here in DC, but nothing says summer quite like grilled food, and we got plenty. I am making wings in 3 special flavors: BBQ, lemon pepper, and curry. The curry's an experiment which may go bust, but hey, we'll see.

            I wonder how they'll manage to do the Michael Jackson tribute. With his passing, the awards show has been all over the news in recent days, and something inside hopes BET will keep the proceedings classy, given the additional sets of eyes in this post-racial TeeVee America. This specifically means the following...

            1) No T-Pain
            2) No vocoders
            3) No Chris Brown/Rihanna reunion
            4) No rappers, not named Heavy D
            5) No Negro Nonsense, please!

            Some of you have asked why I haven't hooked up with BET for some sorta sponsorship. I actually do have connects at BET, and I ran this idea by them, but given the very obvious nature of this blog's clownin', they didn't see any gain in being attached to a guy who'd essentially undermine their product. I suppose I understand this.

            Needless to say, my longterm goal is to generate buzz and eventually have someone pickup this concept and take it to a bigger stage. This is specifically why I choose this format for live-blogging, rather than a chat room type application that some others use. I want to more or less control the content and keep it here in perpetuity. This obviously means I will be a little slow responding to comments, but I encourage ya'll to shoot the breeze with each other. I'll eventually get back to you.

            For now, I need to get to that grill. Be back soon.

            Rest In Peace, Billy Mays.

            AB.com Is LiveBlogging The BET Awards, Tonight!!!

            What would summer be without some lame excuse to have friends and family over to gorge on grilled food and get plastered off Ciroc and lemonade? Unfortunately, with the NBA playoffs over, AverageSis and I haven't found a socially acceptable excuse to do so, but thanks to tonight's BET Awards, it's on and poppin'.

            Join me and AverageFam for our new annual tradition as we pop sh*t and live blog this year's BET Awards right here, tonight, beginning at 7pm or whenever I manage to locate my laptop. For a sampling of the fun, peep last year's epic 3 hour live blog-a-thon. I think you'll like it.

            One thing I'm not particularly looking forward to is the inevitable Michael Jackson tribute. You know it's coming, and if it's anything like the typical "throw 5-6 unrelated artists who know nothing about the guy they're paying hommage to, and who didn't even bother showing up for rehearsal onstage and pray for the best" tribute, well, I'll pass. But you know BET wouldn't skip on the opportunity, so prepare for such Negro Nonsense as this.

            See ya'll here, around 7pm.

            Saturday, June 27, 2009

            Obama : The First 100 Days.

            Friday, June 26, 2009

            What's Your Favorite Michael Jackson Song, Evar?!?

            [1] Although you could argue that Floetry's original version was better, and I'd prolly agree.

            Can You Cook?!?

            This is gonna sound a bit silly, but since TV really sucks, I now find myself addicted to cooking shows. Don't get me wrong: I'm definitely not a "foodie". I'm one of those "eat to live" guys, not vice versa. I can eat the exact same thing night after night, so long as it's filling and reasonably healthy. I do this all the time when I'm on the road with the Day Job.

            Nonetheless, I consider myself a semi-good cook, and really just like doing it for the sense of accomplishment. I'm a master of all things grilled (ah, the modesty) and can even make a little bit of ethnic food (Indian, Caribbean). Maybe it's the Engineer in me, maybe not. I just enjoy cooking for no particular reason. And in this post racial America, two shows on The Food Network have proven to be Tivo Season Pass-worthy.

            Down 北京体彩网官方网站 With The Neelys is my favorite. It features a married couple from Memphis who happen to own a chain of BBQ restaurants. The show is entertaining, but I wouldn't eat 75% of the fat and sugar laden meals they prepare. I swear these bamas fried a freakin' garden salad!!! on one episode. That said, I find the couple's on-air banter refreshing. Seriously, how often do you see a black married couple get to carry on like this on TV? Get a room ya'll!

            Big Daddy's House is another good one. Camden, NJ chef Aaron McCargo usually cooks a bit healthier fare than the Neelys, but still manages to keep it a little hood' for good measure.

            Perhaps it's just the superior production quality, but both shows are head and shoulders above TV One's Turn Up The Heat With G. Garvin and Livin' It Up With Patti LaBelle. Or maybe it's just me.

            Everyday Italian is also good for the occasional tip. And since we're on the topic, what's with this show? I've heard of the whole "food as pRon" concept the Food Network uses to make their programming more appealing, but I always find this show a little over the top. All the soft focus lenses, the pulsating smooth jazz, the sensual lighting, the extreme closeups, and of course, Giada's ever-plunging necklines. Is this a cooking show or a SkineMax 2:00am flick?!?

            Question: Can you cook? If so, what's your signature dish? Do you watch The Food Network? Is The Neely's slightly ghetto on-air act refreshing, or cringe-worthy? Is Everyday Italian "food pRon"?

            Rest In Peace, Michael.

            Thursday, June 25, 2009

            Win Free Copies Of Tyler Perry's House Of Payne DVD Box Set!!!

            I'll be perfectly honest with ya'll. I'm not the biggest fan of TBS' Tyler Perry's The House Of Payne. Considering some of the not-so-nice things I've said about it's producer, and the show itself on this very blog, pretending otherwise would just be rank hypocrisy.

            But as a favor for a friend, I am giving away promotional copies of the House Of Payne 4th Edition DVD box set to the first 2 people who email me with correct answers to the following questions...

            1) What city does Tyler Perry hail from?

            2) Name 3 Tyler Perry stage plays.

            3) What's the name of Tyler Perry's other sitcom, also on TBS?

            If you want the DVD box set, hurry up and email now First two correct answers win.

            AB Is Coming To NYC.

            The Day Job will basically have me in The Rotten Apple most of July. As is usually the case when I'm on assignment, you can expect a mix of more guests and less AB, cause bills have to be paid and whatnot. I'll have some of my closet cyberfriends stop by the keep the party going while I toil away for Da' Man. You prolly won't even notice the difference.

            In the meantime, if you know a thing or two about Manhattan and can recommend some nice spots to eat, chill, etc. after work, holler at me via AverageMail.

            Two fingers.

            A Cautionary NBA Draft Day Story.

            Just remember, for every Blake Griffin you see at tonight's Black Thanksgiving festivities, there's a Dontrevius Winters praying to escape his mother's basement. Peep this epic saga, courtesy of my main man .

            Do You Care If Your President Smokes?!?

            AB Goes To The Movies - Men II Boys.

            Wednesday, June 24, 2009

            Mark Sanford - ePimpin' 101.

            [1] Turns out Sanford was indeed smart enough to Hotmail-Up, but not smart enough to keep some "anonymous tipster" from forwarding his PimpMail to the local paper. Back in December. I wonder why these folks sat on this story for over six months. And they say only Lib-ruls get favorable press coverage. Baloney.

            Hey Mark... Take A Hike. And Stay There.

            Why Does Michael Steele Keep Doing This To Himself?!?

            But what have you done for us lately, Mike?!?

            Question: Is it just me, or do ya'll notice that when the GOP trumpets its "long record of service to the black community", the "long record" usually stops in 1965?

            So, The Black Sitcom Has Come To This?!?

            Uhhmm, I'm still trying to figure out how to feel about this one. With UPN/WB/CW whiting-out their entire Fall schedule, the Black Sitcom was posed' to be officially dead. But the other day I caught this preview of a show called Brothers coming to Fox. I don't know if this is good or bad.

            On the surface, it looks iffy. Michael Strahan should probably be somewhere working on a pre-nup. Instead, he's apparently trying his hand at acting, and well, let's just say Jim Brown is laughing inside. On the flipside, The Shield's CCH Pounder is a legit actress, Carl Weathers isn't awful, and Chill Mitchell, while not exactly my favorite comedian, at least adds something of interest since he's technically paralyzed. That must be a first of some sort.

            I dunno, the coon quotient looks low, but the laughs don't seem plentiful. I might give this one look just on GP. What do ya'll think?

            Question: Does Brothers look like some ole' BS, or could it be tolerable?

            Tuesday, June 23, 2009

            AB.com Guest Post : Should Married People Be Clubbin'?!?

            . Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. to read more of her observations about life, motherhood, and love.]

            Someone please tell me what is the purpose of going to the club?


            Maybe it’s just the few clubs I’ve been to, but I honestly did not see the appeal.

            Aggressive men everywhere, sliding up behind you, grinding on you without the hint of an introduction or an “Excuse me, Miss…”

            Women with low self-esteem wearing clingy, too-short, barely there outfits.

            Music so loud and nasty.

            Drunk fools spilling drinks everywhere.

            No thank you!

            Again, it might just be the clubs they have here in Cleveland. But in general, what is the purpose of going to the club? Is it hang out with your friends or meet a man/woman?

            Which brings me to my point: Is it OK for married people to be at the club? When you have a devoted partner at 北京体彩网官方网站, why go to the club? Not knocking anyone who goes, but let’s open it up for discussion.

            Questions: What if the wife/husband goes with other married friends? Or single friends? Does that matter? What if he or she is 北京体彩网官方网站 early? Is it OK to come strolling 北京体彩网官方网站 at 2 or 3 a.m.? Does it matter if he or she plans on getting drunk or is the designated driver? What if he or she slips off their wedding ring before they go? Does it matter if a married couple goes to the club together?

            AverageNation™ Obama Approval Rating - July 2009.

            Well, Obama's done it yet again.

            Just when I thought public opinion would surely be waning in The Beige One's favor, he pulls yet another surprise out. For weeks he's been assailed for his lack of assertiveness in dealing with Iran, waffling on Gitmo, an up and down economy, and lack of decisive action on expanded healthcare benefits. I can't think of the last time Obama got some positive news. He even caught flack for killing a damn fly for Crissakes. The public pollsters, ie: folks who get paid for this, have his numbers continually sinking.
            Obama's overall public job approval stood at 63% in the New York Times-CBS survey, and 56% in the Wall Street Journal-NBC poll -- down from 61% in a Journal-NBC poll in April.
            Despite all this, the latest AverageNation™ Obama Approval Rating actually rose 2%, from the initial rating of 74% back in April, to 76%. I find this nothing short of amazing.

            The reasons for this rise confound me. Perhaps everyone's patiently waiting for his initial legislation to work, rather than already writing him off after his first six months. Or perhaps you guys are like me, willing to overlook a misstep here or there, and still mostly in agreement with his job to date. Maybe some readers just don't know the difference between the words Yes and No. Go figure.

            Either, congrats to Barry. At least from AverageNation™ you've got a few more months of grace period before we call for Sandman Sims.

            We'll see how the numbers look next time, in September.

            Question: How do you explain the improvement in Obama AverageNation™ Poll rating from April to June, given the President's recent string of bad press?