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            Tuesday, September 30, 2008

            Caption This Photo.

            Bishop Thomas Weeks Needs To Get His Mind Right.

            If you're unfamiliar with the Thomas Weeks/Juanita Bynum soap opera, you need to Google em' or this won't make any sense to you. I didn't bother wading in this cesspool earlier this year when they underwent their very public divorce because I don't particularly care for either of them.

            Still, how sad is it that Bishop Weeks is now taking to the internet to troll for his next wife, like this is some sorta holy version of The Flavor Of Love? Note, I'm not responsible for all the smarty-arty graphics and interjections, but I mostly agree. This cat should be somewhere trying to save his ministry, not MySpace pimpin'.

            Any woman that marries this d-bag gets what she deserves. There, I said it.

            Where Is Latarian When You Need Him!?!?

            Monday, September 29, 2008

            Caption This Photo.

            The Debate Was A Draw, But Obama Won.

            A Baller Who Actually Gives Back.

            Poll Position: We're Stayin' Put.

            , which is another Blog hosting site for those unaware. Generally speaking, WordPress templates are far more attractive. However, the service itself isn't as user friendly as Blogger, there are fewer widgets, it's even harder to customize, the migration isn't seamless, and moving would require you guys getting WordPress accounts to establish your own "personas" to leave comments there. The only reason I'd leave under any circumstances is because the site would look better.

            So last week I posed the question to you guys: Should I stay, or should I go?

            Voting was tight all week, and honestly, this was poll registered the lowest number of votes of any edition of Poll Position to date. This says either of two things: You guys don't care how the site looks, or you didn't care enough to visit the WordPress beta site for the sake of comparison.

            In perhaps a preview of November 4th, the incumbent party (Blogger) won 55%/45%. I honestly thought you guys would like the new site more. I can't tell if this has more to do with an aversion to WordPress or a dislike for the new look and feel. Please enlighten me you-know-where.

            So, I'm left with a quandary. Move and look dysfunctionally good, or stay and look functionally bad.

            In the end though, I came up with a workable alternative: Stay, and renovate.

            I've figured out a way of getting some of the visual punch of WordPress, while keeping all the user friendliness of Blogger. If you hate it, vote in This Week's First Poll and tell me. If you wanna expound, send me an email. All feedback is appreciated.

            This Week's Second Poll won't make sense if you were out clubbin' Friday night instead of hittin' a Debate Party. Brush up on your YouTubes if you need a refresher. The poll only runs through Thursday, when we'll have another debate to weigh in on, so vote early and often.

            Sunday, September 28, 2008

            Is It Too Late To Jump On The Bandwagon?!?

            I dislike bandwagon fans like I dislike WordPress.com. That is to say, I treat bandwagoneers like the plague.

            I'm not an NFL fan, so most of my sports related angst ties to the NBA. Few people are more annoying than folks who merely cheer and follow one player, not the entire team. That's why you see so many Cleveland Cavaliers, Boston Celtics, and Miami Heat fans now. These people piss me off. Find a team and stick to it, through thick and thin. That's what real sports fans are made of.

            That said, since my team (The Wizards if you don't know) is a few weeks away from the start of their season, I'm watching football to pass the time. My hate/hate relationship with the Redskins admittedly conflicts the very notion I just mentioned above. I like them when they're winning, and granted, they don't win much. However, by heading down to Arlington and beating the Cowboys for the final time in that ratbox known as Texas Stadium and moving to 3-1 in the process, they're tempting me to jump on board. []

            I've never been keen on Jason Campbell, but I'll admit, dude seems to be rapidly improving by the week. Besides, lets face it, black starting QB's are on the endangered species list yet again. Mike Vick's in Levenworth. Vince Young is on suicide watch. Tarvaris Jackson is playing like he went to an Negro College HBCU. Duante Culpepper is retired, which is code for "unemployable". The fat kid in Oakland may not pan out. It's pretty much down to just Campbell and Donovan McNabb, who coincidentally just so happen to face each other next weekend in Philly.

            So, I guess that's my official justification: I'm rootin' for the brotha. Beating Dallas and temporarily silencing the most obnoxious sports fans this side of the Mason Dixon doesn't hurt either.

            And like any bandwagon fan, if they get creamed next week at The Linc, I can just jump right back off.

            Question: Is it ever acceptable to be a bandwagon fan or are these people the scourge of the Earth? Is Jason Campbell the real deal or just on a nice streak?

            What's On AB's iPod?: Zo! And Tigallo Love The 80's.

            if you wanna browse first.

            Saturday, September 27, 2008

            I Sure Hope T-Pain Invests His Money Well.

            Chris Rock Tells Bill Clinton To Get Over It.

            Friday, September 26, 2008

            Breaking News: McCain Finally Agrees To Debate!!!

            "Hustling Backwards" And The Quandary of Sarah Louise Heath Palin.

            Soooo, Palin vs Couric: Part Deux aired last night. It only got marginally better for our new President.

            "PredatOR lenders?!?" I thought the term was "predatory", but what do I know, I just went to a single Negro College HBCU, not 6 JUCOS in 6 years.

            Can this chick even balance a checkbook and chew gum at the same time?

            On second thought, I think Couric was a bit harsh to Tina Palin during this interview. The whole "bailout" question hasn't even been posed to the Presidential candidates themselves yet. Why would we expect someone who's simply memorizing GOP Talking Points from afar to have the right answer?

            I've been pretty hard on Mrs. Palin all week and honestly, I'm beginning to feel bad for her. She didn't ask to be Veep, she was asked to be Veep. She couldn't have told McCain "no" if she wanted, that's called hustling backwards, and anyone in Corporate America knows you never hustle backwards when presented a new, upwardly mobile opportunity. Windows open temporarily and close permanently. You leap, then look. Palin is only now beginning to look, and I could only imagine the "oh sh*t!" feeling she has to go through everyday that she realizes she's in so far over her head.

            She didn't ask for this.

            Question: Should I lay off Tina Fey Sarah Palin? Do you find yourself feeling somewhat bad for her? Have you ever "hustled backwards" because you knew you weren't truly prepared for an opportunity?

            Open Discussion: It's Debatin' Time!!!

            Caption This Photo.

            Thursday, September 25, 2008

            Running On "E".

            And I don't mean ethanol.

            Here in DC, I can't say I've noticed such a problem yet, but if it's already hit the Carolinas, chances are it's headed my way soon.

            Note To Self: Fill up on the way 北京体彩网官方网站 today.

            Question: Is your area experiencing a gas shortage? What are you paying on average per/gallon right now?

            * Thanks to EbonyGentleman for sending this in.

            Caption This Photo.

            New Politrician Law: Stay Away From Black Preachers!!!

            Sooo, seems like Tina Fey Sarah Palin has some pastor problems of her own, including a Kenyan named Thoman Muthee, who is apparently some sorta witchhunter.

            Here's the excerpt of Palin having hands laid on her to exorcise her mayoral demons.

            Here's a longer look, for context.

            I know, I know. Palin didn't "attend" this church. Go ahead and pull out the GOP Defensive Talking Points Cheatsheet™. Still, with all the trouble Obama had with Rebb'n Wright, imagine the spectre if he'd been caught on tape having some dude laying hands on him and shakin' dem' witches off. Of course, with Muthee being Kenyan, I'm sure the Conservative rebuttal would have something to do with Barack Sr., and attempt to tie Barry back to his secret Muslim upbringing. I'm just saving Spool and D-A-E-D-A-L-U-S (do you know what that mean?)[1] the keystrokes.

            Uh, ok, maybe ya'll should get to typin'.

            Question: Between this, and McCain's courtship/dump of Rev. John Hagee, will the issue of personal judgement/religion arise during the general debate, or did Obama's bus-toss of Rebb'n Wright bury this issue for good?

            [1] Seriously dude, let that sh*t ride. It's corny and juvenile. I'm the only one who gets to do "corny and juvenile" around here.

            Uh Yeah, I'm Fairly Confident She Could Run The Country.

            Not! Even Katie Couric, journalist extraordinaire that she is, visibly has the "WTF?" look repeatedly at some of these answers.

            I wouldn't trust this woman to run a Dairy Queen, let alone the free world.

            Be afraid, be very afraid.

            Don't Wear This Shirt To The Polls On November 4th!!!

            the following:

            A voter may wear campaign paraphernalia (buttons, t-shirts, or stickers) into the polling place while he or she is there to vote (the voter may not linger in the polling place after voting). However, an election judge, challenger and watcher, or other person stationed inside the polling place or within 100 feet of the polling place may not wear or display campaign materials.
            Different states, cities, and counties have different rules for polling place etiquette, so this email isn't entirely true.

            Emails like this one, and the 8 million others I get with either somewhat or blatantly misleading info each week never cease to amaze me. I'm so conditioned to getting this sorta crap that I'm usually tempted to pull up the Snopes.com clarification and email it back to everyone cc:ed on the email I received in the first place. Such chain mail is always so overloaded with hyperbole, UPPERCASE WORDS, and exclamation marks!!!!!!! that I often wonder if the well-meaning originators realize how much they're insulting the intelligence of the eventual recipients. Then again, knowing the attention span of a typical email recipient, maybe that's why they overload the emails with such attention getters in the first place.

            Cause you know how we do.

            Either way, why even bother risking it? Make sure your cousins n'em who are voting for the first time evar leave the Black Men For McCain (yeah right) and Obama/MLK shirts (I have one, AverageSis got it from the RFK swap meet) at 北京体彩网官方网站. The last thing we want derailing this historic election is widespread Systematic Disenfranchisement because Negroes just had to floss.

            BTW, Obama haters, don't wear this one neither.

            Or this one.

            Uhhh, I'm running outta bandwidth.

            Question: Does your locale have different rules than the one mentioned above? Do you own a Black Men For McCain T-shirt? Does any black man not named Michael Steele own one?

            [1] I'm just wondering here, do white folks get/receive these sorts of chain emails? If so, what are yours about, cause ours are usually some nonsense about Denzel and a soldiers 北京体彩网官方网站, or some such nonsense.

            Wednesday, September 24, 2008

            Breaking News: John McCain Ruins My Debate Party!

            Caption This Photo.

            Campbell Brown Is Tired Of Being Called A Lightweight.

            I agree with Campbell for once.

            FREE SARAH PALIN!!!

            AverageBro Goes To The Movies: Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys.

            Tuesday, September 23, 2008

            Stooping To Their Level: Da' Sequel.

            People I Strongly Dislike: Strippers And Their Patrons.

            [Editor's Note: Don't worry, despite the title, this post of PG-13.]

            The other night I was flipping through the channels and somehow ended up on the Ice Cube/LisaRaye ghetto atrocity Player's Club. One thing I never have quite been able to fully comprehend is the allure of strip clubs. In my short 35 years, I've only set foot in such an establishment twice, both times in the mid-90's, and both times I was with a couple of frequent commenters here (tsk tsk) who will surely weigh in with their pity remarks you know where.

            The first time was a guy's night out to celebrate the early graduation and subsequent matriculation to a well paying corporate gig for one of my buddies. The club itself wasn't too far from the campus of our Negro College HBCU, and I'd frequently heard chatter on campus that some of our schools sweet and innocent co-eds often secretly moonlit there to work out their Daddy issues earn extra money for books and tuition. I'm no prude, but the possibility of running into some girl in one of my 300 level Engineering courses was certainly gonna make for an odd situation.

            And wouldn't you know it, no sooner than we step in the door, there's a girl from my Astronomy class on stage, shakin' her money maker. I distinctly remembered her (let's call her Anissa) because once, waaay earlier in the semester, we'd somehow ended up in the same study group (yeah, I know, study groups for astronomy, make your jokes already), which was only notable because she otherwise stayed in the back row of the classroom and didn't say much. She wasn't incredibly good looking, and was otherwise shy and reserved. She's the last person you'd ever imagine droppin' it like it's hot and doin' somethin' strange for some change.

            But there Anissa was, gyrating away to 8Ball and MJG while getting her thong stuffed with dollar bills[1]. For a very brief moment, we locked eyes, and I saw a distinct "damn" look on her face. It was prolly the same expression of sadness and pity I had on mine. After all, she was strippin', but I was in the club indirectly paying to see her strip. I'm still at a loss for which of these is more pathetic. Help me sort this out in the comments if you feel so inclined.

            Everytime I ran into Anissa on the yard thereafter, we exchanged the same "damn" look and kept it movin'. I could only imagine how many other dudes Anissa exchanged that very same "damn" look during the course of everyday, and whether or not that bothered her as much as it sorta kinda bothered me. I really hope she used that lapdance money to futher her education, but if her performance in that Astonomy class was any indication of the rest of her academic success, chances are she's on a pole somewhere in America right now, and there's prolly some 8Ball and MJG playing in the background. Sad, but likely true.

            But perhaps even more pathetic than strippers are the tricks who pay to watch them strip. Again, I'm certainly not immune to the beauty of the female physique. Who is? But I don't fully comprehend why some dudes (key word: some) pay good money (I'm assuming) to be lied to, manipulated, tricked, and teased out of their money with virtually zero chance of getting anything in return. You've got a better chance of eventually scoring if you have even a minimal amount of game and meet a nice young lady anywhere but a strip club. I guess they say it ain't trickin' if you got it, but you sure as hell can't pay the rent if you blew your check on lapdances.

            I surely hope I'm not inadvertently insulting any of my readers who are exotic dancers, or patrons of exotic dancers, but could one of ya'll explain the allure of this to me?

            Question: Why do some women strip for money? Ladies, be honest. Have you ever even remotely considered doing this for cash? Fellas, if you're a patron, please explain the allure of paying for something you can't have? Is it true that it ain't trickin' if you got it?

            [1] Seriously. I know tips are s'posed to add up, and you make bigger money for bigger "tasks", but c'mon. Dollar bills to grope your booty? You can't even buy a freakin' Kit Kat bar for a dollar nowadays. Have scrip clubs been effected by the recession too? Are they requiring 5 dollar bills and up nowadays? I'm clearly not up on the booty club ettiquette, so help me out.

            Yep, They Finally Played The "Rezko Card".

            We knew this was coming, but even I thought the GOP would hold off on the whole "guilt by association" with Rezko until the 11th hour. I guess desperation and falling behind in the polls will do that to you.

            Never mind the fact that a grand jury found no link between Obama and Rezko, or Governor whatshisname. And pairing him with Emil Jones? Just more racial pandering. Wake me when it's over.

            Seriously, if this is the best ya'll got, and it appears to be, then go ahead and start planning Barry's inaugural ball.

            And I suppose this means that the Keating Five scandal is fair game, no?

            Question: What's next? Rebb'n Wright remixed? A mystery love child in Oahu?

            Monday, September 22, 2008

            Open Discussion: How Much Will Racism Hurt The Obama Campaign?

            in NYC. Those ignant

            Poll Position: Barry Grows A Pair, Gains A Lead.

            . Vote early and often.

            [1] Yeah, I know this is old, and he ain't even running against her, but it's pretty appropriate when you think about it.

            [2] See [1]. Ditto.

            Sunday, September 21, 2008

            What's On AB's iPod?: Hip Hop Digest.


            Despite it's name, HHD isn't a music show, not by any stretch. Rather, it's almost like a hip hop version of The McLaughlin Group, where DC-based hosts E Green, King Killa B, and Curt G go in on the week's biggest stories in urban music. Much like myself, the hosts of HHD are old-school hip hop purists who viciously hate on such new school nonsense as Plies and Soulja Boy. If this sounds like it's something you'd like, sync your iPods and enjoy the show.

            The language isn't safe for kids, so cop the headphones or you'll be in for a rude awakening.

            Saturday, September 20, 2008

            Ummm, I Guess Obama Won't Get 100% Of The Black Vote.

            More protestors yesterday in Coral Gables, FL.

            More footage.

            Some iffy footage of the protestors speaking their piece.

            How long before these guys are guests on a very special episode of Hannity and Colmes?

            Question: I didn't realize The KKK endorsed Obama, I must have missed that memo. Turns out the ringleader of this nonsense,, is urging blacks to vote for McCain since he's pro-life. Does this mean McCain has to throw Warns under the bus too?

            Fair And Balanced Huh?!?

            I could talk about Fox News' bullcrap all day, but no series of exchanges best personifies this bastion of white privilege better than this trio of interviews.

            Bill-O with Hillary Clinton.

            Bill-O with John McCain.

            Bill-O with Barry.

            My only point in posting this is to refute the notion that some commenters said here last week after Obama's interview on The Factor. No, Bill did not grill Hillary, nor McCain nearly as badly as he did Obama. This means nothing in the grand scheme of course, but I thought I'd set the record straight.

            Fair and balanced my a$$. Tell em' Nas.

            Bristow Palin's Black Baby Daddy Should Keep His Day Job.

            If this is in any way indicative of his skills on the mic, dude is gonna have a hard time paying that imaginary child support.

            Don't be mad, UPS is hirin'.

            Friday, September 19, 2008

            Caption This Photo.

            , a great blog from which I shamelessly jacked borrowed this photo.

            Cause They Black: Are Identity Politricks Really Such A Bad Thing?!?

            [1] All jokes aside, I know this was little more than a promotional event for his album, but props to Jeezy for registering voters.

            Thursday, September 18, 2008

            Guilt By Negro Association.

            [1] !!! I cover so many of these ads, I figured they deserved their own designator.

            I See Michelle Went To Rebb'n Al's Soundbyte Seminar Too.

            Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, and goes into "we must defend Sarah's honor" mode, chill out. Michelle-O clearly says "and I mean me" after the "she's cute" comment, although it's not part of this clip. It's nowhere on YouTube unfortunately, but it definitely lends context.

            Caption This Photo.

            WorkPlace 101: The Office Romance.

            My quest to visit all 48 contiguous states continues this week, as I find myself far from 北京体彩网官方网站 in a lonely hotel room down by the river. I'm here in The First State, the 北京体彩网官方网站 of Joe Biden and Joe Flacco, the blink-and-you-missed-it I-95 rest stop otherwise known as Delaware.

            Truth be known, I actually lived here in Delaware briefly in the mid-90's when I interned at a large financial institution to remain undisclosed. I liked it here, although the state's biggest advantages are it's lack of sales taxes and proximity to major East Coast cities like NYC, Philly, DC, and B'More. Delaware itself? Meh.

            Still, my brief summer here taught me a lesson I would carry with me for the rest of my professional life: Do not evar, evar, evar, under any set of bizarre circumstances, evar date a co-worker!!!

            I'm married, and long since off the market, so I'll spare ya'll all the drama. Besides, my wife reads this site from time to time, and I don't wanna have that convo once I get back to DC. But let's just say I learned my lesson abundantly.

            Forgive my total and complete lack of context, but I'd like to hear your opinions on this issue.

            Question: Is it okay to date a coworker? Do you have any particularly bad experiences you'd like to share with the rest of AverageNation™?

            Wednesday, September 17, 2008

            Could She Be President? Jesus Help Us...


            She proceeded to recite the GOP Talking Points 101 Flashcards she's been cramming to memorize for weeks, and midway through her explanation, she clearly drew a blank. She then proceeded to "freestyle" her answer, which sounded something like this.

            You could literally see John McCain thinking "awww sh*t! I knew I shoulda picked Romney" as he rushed in to grab the mic , cut her off, and completed the thought she so terribly fumbled.

            Palin, looking visibly flustered, simply took a few steps back and assumed the usual position.[2] I actually did feel momentarily sad for the woman.

            [Editor's Update: I also happened to catch her circle jerk interview with Sean Hannity. He tossed softballs and kept staring at her legs the entire time. Very creepy.]


            In a perfect world, Sarah Palin's only future relevance would be on the back of a Trivial Pursuit card, not one melanoma away from The Number One Spot. We've heard a lot about "empty suits". Can we all agree to just refer to Palin as an "empty skirt", or is that just me being incredibly sexist as usual?

            Question: Did you see the Palin/McCain townhall I've speaking of? Did it frighten you as much as it did me?

            [1] I guess I should get a Twitter account for short messages like this. Do any of you Twitter? Could you dumb-down and explain it to me?

            [2] And by "usual position", I mean standing behind McCain, to his right side, looking smarmy and overdressed.