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            Monday, December 31, 2007

            Slick Willie Says: "Vote... (For My Wife) Or DIE!!!"

            * Click here that one went right over your head.

            Saturday, December 29, 2007

            Maybe There's Hope For Stepha Henry After All


            Friday, December 28, 2007

            AverageBro Rewind: BET Sucks... Or Does It?

            [It's the holidays, which probably means you guys aren't working, much less checking blogs. So, in the spirit of Christmas, AB.com is re-gifting some of the posts that took AB from an obscure office worker with a blog to an obscure office worker with an award winning blog in less than 6 months. Plus, you get added DVD Commentary!]

            I've been a frequent critic of BET on this blog, but life is seldom all black and black, so I can also acknowledge when they get it right, although this seldom happens.

            To that effect, here's just a sprinkling of the many BET-centric posts that put AB.com on the map this year.

            Peep The Series:

            The 3rd Annual Festival of Negro Nonsense (BET Hip Hop Awards) Recap

            Maybe Debra Lee Was Right After All

            Better Programming? Don't BET On It: The Sequel

            BET Sucks and Enough Is Enough! Protest: Revisited

            More Random BET Posts

            Thursday, December 27, 2007

            AvBro Rewind: Non-Urban Dictates, Tavis, Tom, and Other Tales of Urban Lore

            [It's the holidays, which probably means you guys aren't working, much less checking blogs. So, in the spirit of Christmas, AB.com is re-gifting some of the posts that took AB from an obscure office worker with a blog to an obscure office worker with an award winning blog in less than 6 months. Plus, you get added DVD Commentary!]

            Blogs can accomplish many goals. Some are here to purely entertain, which is fine of course. Others, educate, which is necessary. I try to swing both angles here at AB.com, because I think balance is always a must.

            To that effect, one thing I like doing whenever possible is dispelling commonly held myths, which I refer to sometimes as Grand Hu$tles. There's so much bad information out there, that I never want to add to that problem. When this blog first started, that meant a crapload of links in every post, because I was darn near obsessed with not spreading misinformation. This proved cannibalistic, because it usually moved traffic away from my site, which is never a good thing. So, over time I've wised up and kept links to a minimum.

            Still, some of my favorite posts have been those clearing up urban legends and assorted hu$tles. Here's just a few.

            Peep The Series:

            Non-Urban Dictates, Tavis, Tom, and Other Tales of Urban Lore

            Are There Really More Black Men In Jail Than Yale!?!?

            Multi-Level Marketing is a Grand Hu$tle

            Wednesday, December 26, 2007

            AverageBro Rewind: The Welfare Mother In The Mercedes Benz

            [It's the holidays, which probably means you guys aren't working, much less checking blogs. So, in the spirit of Christmas, AB.com is re-gifting some of the posts that took AB from an obscure office worker with a blog to an obscure office worker with an award winning blog in less than 6 months. Plus, you get added DVD Commentary!]

            A few months back, my wife had a particularly bad incident at a local grocery store, and called to tell me about it. I wasn't in the midst of a great day myself, so this ended up being blog material, in the form of the very controversial post, The Welfare Mother In the Mercedes Benz (aka: F**k Giant Food). The post gained some steam around les Internetes, even landing on a few conservative political sites, uplifted as an example of why the welfare system doesn't work (WTH?). I won't even bother regurgitating the story, I think you just have to read it to understand.

            In retrospect, I made some mistakes in the post. I perhaps made it too personal by mentioning too much about my wife, her car, and our 北京体彩网官方网站. Some commenters clearly took offense with this, lobbing insults at my wife (for being pampered), me (for being too materialistic and bourgeois), and even the baby (for needing organic food). There was a somewhat surprising pattern to the comments, it seemed to be that men agreed that they'd be equally pissed if their wives were treated like that, while women thought my wife and I were being too snooty.

            I think that by focusing too much on my wife's accomplishments and appearance (particularly her looks), I painted what many saw as an elitist portrait of your typical welfare recipient, by implying that my wife should in no way be mistaken for one. I'm pretty sure this is what undermined my overall point, which was that nobody should be assumed to be one. Again, live and learn.

            Many of you have asked what happened since then. I simply forgot to provide a followup before now, but long story short, the store manager (a black woman) called and issued an apology, acknowledging that the store policy wasn't being consistently enforced. Instead, some cashiers did so when they chose, and this certainly could be seen as biased. However, it was a store policy, and would not be altered. My wife accepted her apology, but we haven't returned to the store. Turns out another store, just down the street, sells the babyfood for less anyway. Call it even.

            I do hope the overall point of 'not just letting stuff slide' got through, but I can understand why it didn't, given how I rolled out the story. Again, rookie mistake, but I still hope you can take that one to heart.

            After all, whether you say anything or not, you're still sending a message.

            Just in case you have no idea what this is all about, peep the original post and its followup comments.

            The Welfare Mother In the Mercedes Benz (aka: F**k Giant Food)

            Monday, December 24, 2007

            The 11th Annual Judge Joe Brown "Well Done" Awards

            is alright by me.

            The Spears Family - For proving that severe family dysfunction ain't just a black thang. I'm still waiting for Jamie Lynn's 19 year old babydaddy to get hit with that statutory rape charge, a la Genarlow Wilson. But I ain't holdin' my breath.

            Barack Obama - For giving me real hope that a Black(ish) President might happen in my lifetime. That massive $5 $500 campaign donation I shelled out is looking smarter by the day.

            Mike Huckabee - For giving me a semi-digestable alternative should America not prove ready for a Black President as I secretly fear.

            Lebron James - I'll be the first to admit that I used to hate on King James, mainly because he routinely kicked my team out of the playoffs each year. But the more I watch the guy, the more I realize he is the true embodiment of all things good about professional sports. He doesn't lash out a teammates in the media. He doesn't disagree with coaches in the media. He (appears to) actively raise his two sons, although that topless pool incident in Miami a few years ago was pretty triflin'. He has one baby mama and (appears) to be sticking with her. He is self deprecating in a genuinely modest way. He makes mildly entertaining commercials. He doesn't use his modest upbringing as an excuse to hang on to old friends that hold him down. He hires black agents and PR reps. He speaks good English. He respects the game. He is darn near averaging a triple double for the season. If he knocks the Wizards out in round one again this Spring, I might revert a bit, but for now, Bron Bron is ok in my book.

            Michael Baisden - For providing consistent blogging fodder and really good 80's R&B music when he isn't busy with his latest DriveBy Activism cause or Nigga Nonsense line of discussion (pimpin' preachers, threesomes). I guess I'd be better off just finding a station that plays the music and cuts out the middle man. Any suggestions?

            Jimmy Rollins and C.C. Sebathia - By winning the MVP and Cy Young Awards, these two American born and Bay-Area raised brothers proved that baseball ain't just a white man's sport. Rube Foster is smilin' inside.

            Sylvester Croom and Romeo Crennel - For proving once and for all that black men can coach football just as well as we play it. These two bought their floundering programs back from the ruins.

            BET - Yeah, BET, I said it. For all the criticism I throw their way, I can also acknowledge their halfway decent programming in hopes that they provide more of it. Meet The Faith is consistently solid, Sunday Best was pretty entertaining, and Exalted was a winner. This station will never be all things to all people, but then again, maybe we should stop expecting so much from a TV station. After all, it IS called Black Entertainment Television, not Black Educational Television. Library cards are free. Use em', and stop expecting Debra Lee to show you and your kids every facet of black culture. And don't complain about the video and reality shows if you don't bother tuning in for the good ones.

            Ok, this list's shorter, but if you've got some to add, you know where to do it.

            AverageBro Rewind: The Jena 6 Chronicles

            . If there's any single post that "put me on the map", this would be the one.

            The next day, I followed up with Jena Six: The Day After, which in retrospect was a mistake. I made a rookie blogger faux pas by taking comments too personally and launched into a defensive "you don't know me" stance that probably undermined my point, as AverageSibling told me repeatedly. I guess I also realized that if I was going to keep lobbing criticism out there, I'd better be willing to take the hit. Lesson learned.

            I still stand by everything said that day: Yes, Jena was indeed a travesty of justice, but so are the 8,000 black men killed each year, mostly by other brothers. While this is indeed protested, it's always on a small scale, and only temporary at best. And of course, the media doesn't cover these things.

            But if the only way we can come together and rally is when white people commit a crime against blacks, while ignoring our own self-imposed ills, it's no wonder we stay losin'.

            Peep the Jena Series:

            AverageBro Blogs Live! From Jena, LA

            Jena Six: The Day After

            Those Jena Six Kids Are Starting To Get On My Last Damn Nerve

            The Suffolk 5? Black Man Defends His Family From Lynch Mob, Going To Jail

            Friday, December 21, 2007

            The 11th Annual Judge Joe Brown "Well Done" Awards are Postponed!!!!

            Well, to be more exact, I toiled long and hard [||] on this post last night, and when I tried to deploy my Patented Blogger Time Release Formula™ to put that bad boy out, somehow the whole thing got erased in the process. Sorry, but it beez like that sometimes.

            So, I'll try and put this back together over the weekend. Meanwhile, if you missed the 11th Annual JJB "Do Better" Awards, just page down a little bit and catch that.

            In the meanwhile, here's a clip from the real life show to keep you entertained.

            Thursday, December 20, 2007


            Well, technically this is Post #299, but other than Blogger Dashboard, who's counting?

            In a mere 9 months, this site's grown from some truly awful initial posts into some truly awful recent posts. In this season of giving thanks, I want to let you guys know how much I appreciate you peepin' AB.com, and hope you'll keep ridin' shotgun with ya' boy for the next 300 drops.

            Happy Holidays!

            Wednesday, December 19, 2007

            [Editor's Note: Ok, so AB.com has only been in existence 9 months. But admit it, 11th annual sounds a lot better than first.]

            It's late December, which means lots of things. A week off the Day Job. Crappy "End of Year" recaps. Fistfights in shopping mall parking lots. As we prepare to ring in the new year, I figured I'd get a few things off my chest that I'd prefer to not see in "The Ocho".

            I'm sure many of you will read this list and assume I'm some bitter old man, and you'd be mostly correct except for the fact that I'm in my mid-30's, so technically I'm not old, yet anyway. Anyways, in the name of balance, I'll be rolling out my JJB "Well Done" list later this week. Keep it locked.

            I now present to you, The 11th Annual Judge Joe Brown "Do Better" Awards (aka: Things AB Could Do Without In 08') in no particular order:

            Pencil Jeans - Or more specifically, dudes wearing pencil jeans. I don't really understand this whole "skater" look that kids are aiming for these days, but watching 18 year old men in jeans so tight they might catch a yeast infection is not a good look. I never thought I'd long for the days of baggy jeans, but dag ya'll, c'mon. And those sparkly, mulitcolored hoodies look equally stupid. Grown men should not be dressed like Hello Kitty.

            Illegal Immigrants Working In Customer Service Positions - As frequently stated, AB is all for illegal immigrants getting their hustle on. Hell, if I can get four bathrooms remodeled for $3,000, and help feed a generation of Guatemalans in the process, I'm all for it. But there are definitely some jobs you just shouldn't get if you can't speak the language. When I couldn't find any batteries at my local Target store today, I cornered an "associate" who had no idea what I was talking about, and darn near had a Radio Raheem Moment. "D, Mutha*******!!! D!!!"

            Celebrity "Reality" Shows - I admittedly don't watch these things, so I'm probably not the guy to be critiquing them, but enough already. "Run's House" was palatable, but do we really need shows to Salt N' Pepa, Snoop Dogg, and Irv Gotti? And while I'm sure these shows are effected by the writer's strike, how badly scripted are they? Note to HollyWeird: reality is called reality for a reason: because real life is boring. Mixing in poor writing and contrived plots don't help much either.

            Michael Jordan - MJ, looking like he's been hitting up Queen City-area Bojangles pretty often, popped in an Charlotte Bobcats practice the other day to "motivate the team". The last time he stepped in to "motivate the team", I got stuck with 4 years of Kwame Brown. Note to MJ: Stay retired.

            Ringtone Rap Dances - In 07' alone, you had "Score a 10 On The Degree of Difficulty" dances like The Aunt Jackie, Spiderman that Ho, The Soulja Boy, Pop Lock and Drop It, The Ratchet, Move My Feet (or whatever it's called), Batman that Ho', and whatever the hell Chris Brown is doing. Whatever happened to simple dances like The Reebok, and The Pee Wee Herman? Middle School Dances must be hell on a young dude nowadays.

            Those Red Gap Inspi[RED] Shirts - T-shirt activism personified. Drop $45 on a wringer T, and feel less sh*tty about the starvin' chil'rens in Ak-a-Fra. Sally Strothers is cryin' inside.

            DriveBy Activism - 2007 was The Year Of Misplaced Sympathy. Given the number of YouTube/MySpace embarrassments suffered this year, let's all try and be a bit more discriminate in choosing who we rally around in 08'.

            Karrine "SuperHead" Steffans - So, her latest book bombed and now this chick is supposedly trying her hand at the rap game. Considering the fact that she's already literally given a hand (and a few other body parts) to half the rap game already, maybe this will work out for her, but considering the quality of fem-cees out right about now, I don't see her adding much to an already bleak situation. Note to Karrine: get a real day job. It ain't that hard.

            Vocoders - As if Akon wasn't annoying enough, T-Pain jumped on the bandwagon, Sean Kingston had a hit, and now Snoop is doin' it. Note to all A&R's: sangin' isn't all that hard. Find someone who can actually do it. Roger Troutman is cryin' inside.

            Dumb Voters - Maybe we should bring back poll taxes or something, because if I hear one more person say they "don't know enough about Candidate X", or "don't know what Candidate X's position on Issue X is", I am going to knock a Negro out. Seriously, do you expect politicians to come and sit down at your dinner table? Do a little work for a change. Google something. Read a newspaper. Use the Internet for something other than MySpace and pRon illegal downloading. Whatever the case, if you haven't paid enough attention by now to know who you're voting for, please do me a favor and don't vote. I don't need your dumb vote cancelling out mine.

            Triflin' Black Men/Self-Loathing Black Women - Here's a hint: if you're always in bad relationships, check the common denominator and stop blaming the opposite sex for all your problems.

            Bill Clinton - Please sit down and STHU.

            Gilbert Arenas - Please make up with your baby mama, rehab that knee, and STHU.

            Coca Cola - I realize the soft drink game is pretty lucrative when you can sell quarter waters for $2 (Vitamin Water for those who are slow), but how many darn flavors of Coke do we really need? There's Coke II, New Coke, Coke Plus, Coke Zero, Coke Blak, Kosher Coke, Kwanzaa Coke, Chitlin' Coke, and now, the new and improved Plain' Ass Coke. I don't drink any of this stuff since I did that "effects of cola on ground beef" experiment for my 7th grade science fair, but c'mon, enough already.

            Black Awards Shows - Or more specifically, hip-hop Awards shows like the BET Awards, The Source Awards, The Vibe Awards, and my new ig'nant favorite, The Ozone Awards. I guess it's okay to reward mediocrity (I mean, even AB.com won an award), but at what point does enough become enough? And for the record, if "Little Duffle Bag Boy" was your song of the year, just kill yourself already. Life isn't getting any easier.

            Michael Baisden - Yeah, I know I stay on this dude, but for real, I just wish he'd stay in his lane. When he's talking greasy about his usual Negro Nonsense (pimpin' preachers, threesomes, triflin' baby mamas) and playing that 80's R&B music (aka: the best decade of music evar) his show is harmless, brainless fun. But when he tries to become an "activist" and uses his show to summarily discredit reputable organizations like Color of Change, well, that's borderline dangerous.

            Dumb Athletes - Not a day goes by without another paternity suit, botched robbery, or roid' rage incident. Play your games and go 北京体彩网官方网站 afterward. Please.

            Feel free to add your own awards you know where.

            Monday, December 17, 2007

            AverageBro Goes To The Movies: I Am Legend

            Friday, December 14, 2007

            Doping: America's Real Pastime

            [Racial Disparities Week Concludes at AB.com]

            I really didn't wanna end the week like this, seriously. In case you haven't noticed, this week's posts all have a central theme: racial disparities in how certain individuals are depicted by the media. We've been all over the place this week, from the Black Runaway Bride, to Obama, to the Baltimore 9, and Crack vs Coke sentencing. I didn't plan the series, but midway through the week, the theme kicked. Our fine folks at have been riding shotgun, and I thank everyone new who's dropped by and weighed in.

            That said, it's Friday! Break out the Capri Suns!Today was supposed to be lighter, maybe a few YouTube clips, etc. But lo and behold, Major League Baseball's long awaited Mitchell Report on performance enhancing drugs finally dropped yesterday, and I couldn't resist pointing out some of the inherent media bias surrounding it.
            A 21-month investigation into in Major League Baseball concluded Thursday a culture of secrecy and permissiveness gave rise to a "steroids era" in the game that included some of its biggest names, most prominent among them superstar pitcher Roger Clemens.

            The long-awaited report by George J. Mitchell gave a detailed account provided by a onetime team trainer who told the panel that he injected Clemens -- a seven-time Cy Young Award winner regarded as the greatest pitcher of the last half-century -- with steroids and human growth hormone while he was with the Toronto Blue Jays and New York Yankees. Clemens was one of 91 players named in the report, a list that included 33 all-stars, 10 most valuable players, and two Cy Young winners.

            Among the most prominent current and former players fingered in the report were Barry Bonds, Miguel Tejada, Gary Sheffield, Andy Pettitte, Rafael Palmeiro and Mark McGwire.
            While I'm a big sports fan, I will admit I don't follow baseball that closely. The game's too slow, too boring, and too long to watch on TV. On the other hand, the ballpark experience itself is pretty exciting depending on where you see a game. And with a young son, I'm trying to make myself a fan of our local Washington Nationals, although they suck like an Oreck [||]. Am I trying to recapture some childhood memories here? Sure. But I could be doing far worse things, so hey.

            Anyways, considering the many big-name players mentioned here, it's no wonder that baseball is probably in some serious jeopardy moving forward. Yes, the NBA had it's minor referee scandal last fall, and the NFL's players seem to spend more time in court than on the field, but none of those issues is nearly as widespread as those alleged in this report.

            Perhaps most damning is that some of the players who have long been compared and contrasted with The Most Hated Man In America: Barry Lamar Bonds, were named in the report as well. Namely one Roger "The Rocket" Clemens, who has remained a media favorite despite the oh-so-obvious enlargement of his head [||] over the past decade. So while Bonds has been booed mercilessly in stadiums nationwide for a good 7-8 years now, Clemens has been able to hold teams hostage annually by demanding ridonculously high salaries to pitch when he feels like it. Nobody ever raised much of a stink over the fact that he's still a solid pitcher in his mid-40's, just as Bonds is a solid slugger in his mid-40's.

            Clemens didn't have his records and enshrinement in Cooperstown threatened with asterisks. He didn't receive death threats. He didn't have his marriage picked apart in front of the world. He wasn't pegged as a terrible role model for kids. He wasn't the subject of a media witch hunt that included an embedded ESPN reporter who followed him 24-7. He wasn't pelted with batteries and urine. He didn't have his weekend jumpoff mistress outed to the world. He didn't have dozens of books written about his alleged drug use. He wasn't just plain reviled.

            Perhaps he will be now, but I seriously doubt it.

            I'm sure pundits will say much of this disparity has much to do with the perception that Bonds is an a$$hole who doesn't talk to the media and Clemens is seen instead as an ultimate professional and generally All-American guy who got the benefit of the doubt. I've always felt that the media had it in for Barry because he didn't smile, shuck and jive, and cowtow like the puppet they wanted him to be. I'm sure that like most things, the real answer lies somewhere in between.

            But now that all the facts are on the table, Major League Baseball and the media need to treat Clemens, Rick Ankiel, Mark McGuire, Andy Pettite, and company just like they've long treated Bonds.

            There should be plenty of asterisks to go around.

            is crying inside.

            Thursday, December 13, 2007

            , partly out of the sad feeling that America wasn't ready for a qualified Black(ish) President, and partly because I was disappointed at the non-assertive campaign Obama was running. I mean, damn bruh, we're warriors: that lay back in the cut, non-threatening Negro role won't cut it.

            Fast-forward a few weeks: Scrutiny of frontrunner Hilary Clinton is heightening, Obama is on the offensive for a change, he pulled the Oprah card early, and now Iowa and New Hampshire both look winnable. Well, on paper at least, you know how reliable those polls are. Just ask Howard Dean.

            Quick, cue the Tired Smear Campaign.

            A top adviser to Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign said Wednesday that Democrats should give more thought to Sen. Barack Obama's admissions of illegal drug use before they pick a presidential candidate.

            Obama's campaign said the Clinton people were getting desperate. Clinton's campaign tried to distance itself from the remarks, and the adviser said later he regretted making them.

            Bill Shaheen, a national co-chairman of Clinton's front-runner campaign, raised the issue during an interview with The Washington Post, posted on washingtonpost.com.

            Shaheen, an attorney and veteran organizer, said much of Obama's background is unknown and could be a problem in November 2008 if he is the Democratic nominee. He said Republicans would work hard to discover new aspects of Obama's admittedly spotty youth.

            "It'll be, 'When was the last time? Did you ever give drugs to anyone? Did you sell them to anyone?"' said Shaheen, whose wife, Jeanne, is the state's former governor and is running for the U.S. Senate next year.

            "There are so many openings for Republican dirty tricks. It's hard to overcome," Shaheen said.

            New polling shows Clinton and Obama basically tied in New Hampshire. A CNN-WMUR-TV poll conducted by the University of New Hampshire shows Clinton at 31 percent support, Obama at 30. The same poll had Obama trailing by 20 points in September.
            This wouldn't be the first time the Clinton campaign tossed a low blow at Obama, nor is it the first time his one time drug use has been raised. Let's not forget the allegations of terrorist training . And then there was that very odd incident a few weeks back. But given the fact that this race is seemingly tightening by the day, I'd say recycling old news is a harbinger of things to come.

            This "allegation" is odd for a couple of reasons. One, the story broke earlier in the year and barely registered a blip on the radar. Two, Obama admitted the drug use himself in his well written but excessively wordy biography Dreams From My Father, a book he wrote while Editor of the Harvard Law Review, and ostensibly before he had formed any real political aspirations. Having read all 4,000cough...dry...cough exciting pages of the book, I can tell you that the blurb being picked apart is completely out of context.

            This admission was hardly a paragraph in the 38,200 page tome, as Obama admitted to experimenting with marijuana and a "lil' blow" as an identity confused high school senior in Hawaii. I could be forgetting something, but the ensuing 167,000 pages didn't mention this "drug habit" any further, so I think it's fair to assume that Young Barry was no different that any other teen, yours truly included, who tried things and decided they weren't for him as he matured into an adult. Regardless, Obama is in his mid-40's now, so that was nearly 25+ years ago. Unless someone can dredge up more recent evidence of substance abuse, I'd say this is a non-issue. How often do you hear George Bush's drinking problem dredged up? Rudy Guiliani married his cousin once, but you don't hear him being pegged as a serial incestor. Why the double standard for Barry?

            I guess what really pisses me off is the oft repeated allegation that if Obama used drugs, then he must have sold them too, because hey, . Then again, that's just my opinion.

            Anyways, keep an eye open in coming weeks for more pithy allegations. As I've always said; if the man had an illegitimate kid in Hawaii, some well hidden youth charges, or a white chick on the side, this would be the time for such a skeleton to emerge.

            But by reaching for straws and recycling old news, I can only assume Hilary hears footsteps.

            Speaking of white chicks on the side, here's a mildly controversial skit from MadTV, since I think it's always good to end on a lighter note. Hey, I thought it was funny.

            Wednesday, December 12, 2007

            [Racial Disparities Week Continues at AB.com]

            Anyone with an eye on the news yesterday saw that the US Supreme Court ruled that Monday's dramatic reduction in the mandatory minimum sentencing for could be applied retroactively. What's perhaps more interesting is the little devils in the details.
            The Supreme Court gave federal judges latitude yesterday to impose shorter prison terms for crack cocaine-related crimes, part of a pair of decisions that allow judges, who were once tightly controlled by mandatory guidelines, to exercise broad discretion in sentencing.

            The high court's decision arrived ahead of a vote today by the U.S. Sentencing Commission, which will decide whether such sentences should be reconsidered. If so, it could mean reduced federal prison time for up to 19,500 inmates nationwide, according to the commission.

            Under the rules, a federal sentence for possession of a gram of crack is roughly equal to that for possession about 100 grams of powder cocaine. But the disparity extends to laws in 13 states, including Maryland, which mandates a five-year minimum penalty for trafficking 448 grams of powder cocaine, and the same for only 50 grams or more of crack cocaine.
            The disparity in sentencing between crack dealers and powder cocaine dealers has long been considered racially motivated, and I happen to agree. Crack, generally speaking, is most often manufactured and sold in poor, largely minority communities. Thus, those getting busted for possession and other related crimes are generally going to be minorities, specifically black men. Of course, let's not forget that these men being released are usually far from innocent victims. They did crimes, and while their sentences were inordinate, they deserved to do some time. So while you could in theory look at this as a civil rights victory of sorts, let's not get carried away with the political prisoner rhetoric.

            But reality is, this is nothing more than an effort to reduce overcrowding in federal prisons, as this ruling could slash the rolls as much as 10%. Housing prisoners costs taxpayers millions yearly, and setting many of these people free can go a long way towards restoring some level of fiscal fitness in a time of war. Also, in a pre-election year where Republicans need everything they can get to lure black voters, you could see the timing of this as bit ominous. Don't believe me? from yesterday. Not so cleverly hidden: a DC area crack dealer. Conspicuously absent, although he's free anyway: my old' friend Scooter Libby.

            I'll take "Things That Make You Say, Hmmmmmmmmmmm" for 400, Alex.

            Also, neither of these Supreme Court rulings actually repeal mandatory minimum sentences (thanks a lot President Reagan), they simply give judges the ability to selectively impose sentences below the limit. So, to repeat: mandatory minimum sentences are still in effect. Better work on perfecting that wicked jumpshot, because slangin' crack rock is still not a legitimate come up.

            [Editor's Note: That last line was an attempt at lightheartedness, courtesy of a , not a swipe at black America. Hell, I coach youth basketball. So please, miss me with the "elitist" comments.]

            Interestingly, from a political standpoint, Hilary Clinton (whose husband might have as a parting gift to black America, but didn't do jack sh*t about this disparity during 8 years in office) is . If it sounds like I've been gathering a mountain of evidence against this woman in recent weeks, it's because I am.

            One more tidbit, which is not surprising at all.
            Both rulings came down by a vote of 7-2, with Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel A. Alito Jr. dissenting.
            Some things never change. Never mind the fact that for a similar offense. Self hatred is never pretty, ya'll.

            That said, 20,000+ former drug offenders will possibly be returning 北京体彩网官方网站 in the coming months as their individual cases are reviewed. And this poses a quandary: what the hell will all these people be doing for work?

            Recidivism rates are lowest when prisoners have been truly rehabilitated, return 北京体彩网官方网站 to a supportive community, and a strong economy in which they can find gainful employment, thus avoiding the temptations that got them in trouble in the first place. I haven't read anything about comprehensive plans for ensuring a safe return to society for these ex-felons. So while I agree with the quasi-remedy for these draconian laws, I can't help but wonder if these guys will find themselves right back there in the future.

            Time will tell.

            Till then, get the Patrón, Tyrone's comin' 北京体彩网官方网站.

            Tuesday, December 11, 2007

            A Black Runaway Bride?

            , a few years back. In that story, a white Georgia woman disappeared days before her wedding, and called from the road with a Susan Smith-like story about being abducted by a Hispanic man and white woman. A media circus ensued, and Wilbanks' disappearance was the lead news story for days.

            Once Wilbanks was "found" in New Mexico, the house of cards unraveled, and it turned out that she was simply having a case of cold feet. Wilbanks was charged with felony indictment of giving false information to police, but the charges were eventually dropped. This being America and all, Wilbanks of course got a lucrative book and movie deal outta this whole debacle, and ended up suing her ex-fiance for half the cost of a 北京体彩网官方网站 he bought with the proceeds in a very odd turn of events. And they say love is unconditional. P'shaw.

            By contrast, I didn't hear jack squat about Hancock's disappearance until her story also unraveled. This is of course no real surprise, given the media's "who the f**k cares?" attitude toward , and heck, . Pray for the family. I would imagine the holidays are going to be especially rough.]

            Monday, December 10, 2007

            The Baltimore 9 - Hate Crime Or Simple Beatdown!?!?

            on this video.

            Friday, December 7, 2007

            under a bus. I could care less about his premarital indiscretions, but they clearly fueled to the Christian conservative movement that pimpslapped us with 8 years of George W. Bush.

            And what exactly did he do that was so great for blacks? Oh yeah, that's right, he . His wife is right about now. Black President my ass. [||]

            Wake up, Black America. Please.

            Seriously, I know Andrew Young and his civil rights era generation of politicians feel disconnected from today's new Ivy League upstarts (Cory Booker, Obama, Duval Patrick, etc.) but how necessary was it to go there?

            Obviously there's some level of jealousy at play here, thus the unnecessary low blow. And obviously, Young supports the Clintons, which he's certainly entitled to.

            What's sad is that if Young would step back a bit, he'd appreciate the fact that Obama is part of his legacy. Had it not been for the groundbreaking efforts of him generation, there wouldn't even be a Barack Obama. In short, he should be proud, not jealous. You don't see Bill Russell hatin' on Lebron do you?

            Watch the video of this nonsense.

            Somebody call Shady Acres.

            MLK is cryin' inside.

            Thursday, December 6, 2007

            Almost Famous (aka: Remain Anonymous Part III)

            Sure. But that's about it. And besides, the last thing I need is a cyberstalker showing up on my doorstep. .

            3) I just don't think it's necessary. I mean, you guys come here for my witty and irreverent spin on politricks, pop culture, and general Negro Nonsense. I don't think your lives would be any better off knowing what I did last weekend (it involved AverageToddler, and it wouldn't be incredibly exciting to you). I could be wrong, but I believe folks can be interested in the message without needing to know the messenger.

            That said, when I started this blog, I didn't expect much. I sure didn't expect to win a coveted Blog To Watch Award. I didn't expect to see my blog jacked referenced in print media. I didn't expect to agitate some very well known people who've contacted me offline. I didn't expect the pleas for other black men to join me in the mentor program I'm a part of to be taken seriously. And I sure didn't expect what's happened the past couple of weeks to happen, which has be re-examining the whole anonymous blogger thing once more.

            Long story short, in the past couple of weeks, I've gotten at least a half dozen invitations from widely circulated newspapers, national radio shows, and even a cable news station asking me to either make an appearance or give a quote on some odd issue. For a guy from a small four stoplight Southern town, this is pretty flattering stuff, but it also presents a quandary. Do I ditch the vow of anonymity for what could be great national exposure for this blog, or do I stick to my guns knowing the risks involved?

            AverageSis says play it by ear, and to that effect, I will more than likely be making an appearance on a national radio show in a few weeks, albeit using a pseudonym, and hopefully one of those voice alteration 北京体彩网官方网站 that they use on the 6 o'clock news when they interview the witness of a grizzly murder who doesn't want to be identified for fear of retribution, but still wants to floss on TV anyway.

            Ok, so maybe I won't have the voicebox or dim lighting, but I will have to choose a pseudonym.

            That said, I'm open to suggestions from you guys about exactly what kinda name I should make up choose. Should I go with something super-urban (read: black), like Tyrone, Leon, or Hakim (I've always wanted to be called Rasheed)? Something ethno-neutral like Chris, James, or Steve (I've always wanted to be called Steve too.)? Do I flip the script and toy around with some remixed variation of my government name? The choices are many, but once I decide on one, I have to stick with it moving forward.

            Drop your best pseudonym for AB in the comments, of if you're anonymous like that, just email me.

            [Editor's Note: Learn even less about AB by reading prior installments of the Remain Anonymous Saga. Links below.]

            Remain Anonymous - Part I
            Remain Anonymous - Part II(The Sequel)

            Wednesday, December 5, 2007

            AverageBro NewsBriefs - Frivolous Lawsuits Edition

            Tuesday, December 4, 2007

            Robbing Banks To Pay Tuition?!? Negro Please.


            We'd all like to think our kid will either be a Über Scholar or have a wicked "J" to offset these tuition costs, but reality is, if you aren't putting away something for their education today, you're gonna pay big time tomorrow.

            On the flipside, I really wish these guys had considered other options before going and "settin' it off". Couldn't they have applied for more financial aid, or gotten work study programs, or begged an NBA player for help? It's really a shame when it has to come down to that.

            Then again, it's also entirely possible that these cats just hit that lick because they wanted some money for 24-inch rims and Red Monkey jeans, and their public defendant is just drumming up the "pay for tuition" excuse for sympathy. Robbing banks for tuition sounds about as logical and realistic as "stripping for tuition". Not that I know personally, of course. I'm just sayin'.

            What do ya'll think? Did these brothers really pull a caper to pay for room and board or were they just trying to come up? Holler back in the comments.

            [Editor's Note: If nothing else, I think this story underscores the relative bargain of HBCU's. These cats probably wouldn't have had to rob a bank had they gone to Central State U. HBCU's make college affordable for everyone, and while some of you may argue about the quality of education, I'd counter by saying that just like all majority institutions aren't equal, neither are all HBCU's. Some are crappy, some are great. But as a whole, they continue to provide a valuable service and a learning environment that is supportive for their core constituents. Oh, and 北京体彩网官方网站comings are the idd'ish too.]

            Monday, December 3, 2007

            NBC News To Black Women: "Never Let A Stripper Refinance Your 北京体彩网官方网站"

            If you're really a glutton for punishment, there's some on NBC's series website, including an unintentionally hilarious bit about Black women in hip hop, starring Irv Gotti and Melyssa Ford.

            My lasting impression of this series is that it was half-assed journalism at its worst. The stories were one-sided, sensationalized, and worst of all, classcist. All the segments seemed to conveniently focus on the professional black female perspective, but when men where critiqued, is was us as a whole. Why not explore some of the issues that lower classed black women have with dating, healthcare, politricks, and the workplace? I guess NBC was more interested in putting its best foot forward. It should have put its best foot somewhere else. But I'm sure last week's rating were through the roof with all the added notoriety, so let's not forget the obvious here: TV is all about ratings. Not objectivity. Not correctly reporting the facts. Not presenting all facets of a story. Nope.

            It's all about the Nielsens baby.

            I sure hope Raheema Ellis enjoys that Christmas bonus.

            Curiously enough, since I left the Tivo Season Pass on for NBC Nightly News, I saw that there was yet another episode recording last night. And lo and behold, even though the Where They Stand Series is technically over, NBC couldn't resist throwing one more lick of salt in the proverbial black woman's wound by running a somewhat old story about a stripper turned CEO here in DC who bilked thousands out of their 北京体彩网官方网站s in an elaborate refinancing scheme.

            NBC's story was decent, but I liked the story the first time I heard it, months ago in the Washington Post.

            Joy Jenise Jackson glided down the aisle of the Mayflower Hotel ballroom wearing her handmade oriental silk wedding gown and tiara with Swarovski crystal rhinestones. Trailing her was a 42-foot train, it, too, adorned with bling.

            The June 2006 reception was equally glitzy, captured, like the wedding, on video. Patti LaBelle serenaded Jackson, 39, a former exotic dancer turned mortgage broker, and her groom, Kurt Fordham, 38. Later, the video shows the couple and their 360 guests sipping Moet and Cristal champagne and dining on lobster and shrimp fried rice, followed by four wedding cakes. As gifts, the couple gave one of their attendants a Porsche, another a house, and a third a $10,000 check, wedding guests said.

            The price tag for the nuptials, Jackson told friends, was nearly $800,000.

            It was a fairy tale wedding born of a booming real estate market. But even as Jackson was basking in her platinum wedding, her dreams and those of hundreds of 北京体彩网官方网站owners in the Washington area were crumbling around them -- just like the market.

            Investigators and attorneys say it appears that Jackson paid for her wedding and her lavish lifestyle, in part, with money from an elaborate foreclosure rescue business she operated out of her Lanham-based Metropolitan Money Store Corp.

            Last month, a class action lawsuit was filed on behalf of 北京体彩网官方网站owners who say they have collectively lost as much as $60 million in 北京体彩网官方网站 equity through her business.
            While NBC's story really couldn't capture the Ghetto-Fabulousness that is Joy Jackson and the Metropolitan Money Store quite like (a must-read), I couldn't help but notice the strange juxtaposition of the stories.

            After a week of stories that mostly reflected well on the black woman (albeit at the expense of black men), I couldn't help but wonder just who thought it was a good idea to run this completely negative story to cap things off? I mean, this story isn't by any means new, there haven't been any new developments since it broke last Summer. There's a really good chance that the segment NBC News aired was actually old. So, again, I ask, what's up with the timing?

            Black women, if you had any doubt, whatsoever, NBC really didn't give an idd'ish about where you stand.